MY MINI PANIC - I NEED MY MOMMY!

My husband decides we were going on a date last night - fine with me! However we needed a sitter so he decides to call his mom. This panicked me a little b/c the kids don't really know her. They know WHO she is but she doesn't treat them like her other grandchildren and doesn't try to spend time with them. She has watched Elijah twice in 6 yrs and Isaiah once. I knew they would be fine once they were there playing with her 4 adopted kids but if I found out she whipped MY children with her precious flyswatter I was going to shove it down her throat. She may think that is okay for her children but not ours especially by HER! Anyway the day went on and on and it was getting later so I assumed for some reason we weren't going which made me sad and happy!! He finally says well are you ready I am going to take a quick shower. My reply well its late now. Then he says, "well they can just spend the night!" WHOA NELLY! This was NEVER discussed! A couple of hours is one thing, spending the night is quite another!!!!!!!!!! I said, "honestly I don't think Isaiah will spend the night with her." He replies with, "well they spend the night with your mom and they will just have to get used to it!" No not okay! First of all Isaiah wakes up every time he spends the night at my Mom's b/c he isn't in his own bed and he is over there every day. Since my Dad hasn't been able to sleep in the bed b/c of his neck surgery 3 yrs ago, Isaiah just crawls in bed with her. I don't think crawling in bed with "Grandma" Francie will help him out. "Getting used" to Martez's mom should involve going over there to visit a few times and THEN spend the night not just spending the night the first time!! Oh I could feel the panic. He calls his mom says we'll be there in a little bit then runs to get the boys something to eat. In the meantime I tell Elijah to just go ahead and put his PJs on. With a panicked look on his face and tears in his eyes he says "can we just go to Meme and Papa's house instead?" My answer, "No Daddy made plans for you to go to Grandma Francie's house and Meme & Papa are still in Branson." Holding back his tears he then asks to go to his Aunt Lisa's house and then asks to go to Aunt Karen's house. I say feeling so sorry for him, "No Daddy already made plans so you can spend time with your other Grandma and play with her kids and I need you to be a big boy and help with Isaiah." I just can't seem to get it through my husband's head that they only really know her as HIS Mom and not a Grandma and they don't just love her simply b/c she is YOUR Mom. Any opportunity she has to spend time with them she squanders. For example, their birthday parties IF she shows up she only shows up for about 20 or 30 minutes of the party and then doesn't really acknowledge them. She will come by the house and stand outside to chit chat with Martez every now and then but then only comes in to say hi and bye to them. If she does come in, she is too busy trying to control her kids to do anything more than ask what they are doing and ask for a hug goodbye. She talks to Martez every day on the phone and doesn't ask to speak to the kids. Yes she will ask how they are doing but THEY don't know that! My list of grievances against her as a Grandma to OUR kids could go on for forever. It really hurts me and Martez to see her with her other grandchildren that she just adores. Don't get me wrong I would love for her to be involved but ONLY if SHE wants to and can learn to love our kids without prejudice. I will not push our kids to love someone who doesn't show love in return and in fact treats them as less. Someone who treats them like strangers and not family! I know people show love in different ways but her way is just too strange for me! I don't speak ill of her to them or in front of them b/c I don't ever want to be the blame for them not having a relationship with her but I am not going to sing her praises either. ANYHOW he calls her when we are about to leave (about twenty min later) and finds out she has left to go to a fish fry in North Tulsa. I said, "does she have enough car seats?" knowing full well she wouldn't. He then finds out that it was a "family" affair and she had also taken his sister and her two kids with her. Somehow she thought it would be okay for her to take home herself, her adult daughter, her four kids and four Grandchildren with just one car seat and three 3yr olds. BUT she KNEW we wouldn't go for that. This was not okay with us since we are sticklers about car seats! Needless to say he was not happy with his Mother since she knew we were bringing the kids over there and she "all of the sudden" had to go out North for a "spur of the moment" fish fry for about 30 people. Sounds a little fishy to me!! lol My guess is she didn't really want to watch our kids so she just left to go to her sister's for a fish fry!! FINE WITH ME! We decided we will go on a date next weekend.....we'll see if I have some other arrangements for the kids made before then. Gonna call my sister to see if she "wants" them to come over next weekend.

My final statement: Hey woman if you don't want to watch my kids then say so don't make other last minute plans b/c I can't force you to love my kids and I don't need to b/c my entire family and our friends love them willingly, unconditionally and abundantly! It is your choice to have a relationship with them and from now on it is ALL up to YOU! You just have NO clue what you are missing out on - my kids are amazing!!!

YOUTHQUAKE 2008

I am so excited for Tez I could just bust!! Tez left this afternoon for church camp in Como, Colorado with my niece Kristin and her church youth group. This is his first camping trip - wish I could watch it could be funny! I went to camp in cabins at a camp site but they are actually going camping in the mountains! Tez went with us to Branson a few weeks ago and I think that was the first out of state trip that he can remember. I am so excited for him! He is going to have more fun than he can even imagine! I think Martez is a little jealous b/c he keeps saying I didn't get to go to camp like he is still a teenager. I went to camp every year from second grade through my senior year in high school plus annual church trips to Six Flags, retreats a couple of times per year and Youth Congress in Florida. I loved every minute of those trips and the memories I still have even though somehow our bus broke down on every trip to Six Flags. I can't even begin to count how many pictures I have aside the highway while we still had fun waiting for help to arrive - pre-cellphone days! Although buying the plethora of camping items was tedious I was just so excited I didn't really care! I can't wait to hear all about the trip! He seemed a little nervous and unsure when I dropped him off but still excited for his adventure ahead! Isaiah on the other hand was so upset his big brother was leaving that he screamed and cried himself to sleep on the way home! ;(

You know what really irritated me....well I am about to tell you. Tez's mother kept saying, "Well does he really want to go." YES we aren't forcing him to use the opportunity to have fun in the mountains of Colorado. The my MIL kept asking questions like, "Did you give them a phone number to call if something happens? What if he doesn't like it? Does he know anyone he is going with? Will he be the only black kid?" My answers: First of all they would not allow him to go without emergency contact info. Second of all do you really think we would send him to the mountains of Colorado to camp and not give them an emergency phone number. If he doesn't like it we are not going to go get him anyway so he can suck it up and try to act his age. He is going with his cousin Kristin and the other teens from the youth group he has been going to for months. I don't know if any other black children will be there and it should NOT even matter!!! I seriously doubt they will have a Christian lynching of the black boy. We try not to send our kids to a racist church camp. I wanted to say he experiences far more racism from you than he ever will with the WHITE people we associate with!! SERIOUSLY THAT CRAP IS SO IRRITATING, STUPID, JUVENILE, IMMATURE, IDIOTIC..............you get the point right! WHO IS THE RACIST HERE? I SWEAR IT NEVER ENDS.

TULSA TALONS VS IOWA BARNSTORMERS VS FAMILY REUNION?

Today we had to go to the family reunion on Martez's maternal grandmother's side of the family which I was "so" looking forward to.....sense the sarcasm! I was trying to be positive and pray that they were much nicer than his maternal grandfather's side of the family b/c his maternal Grandfather is an ass and that is putting it VERY nicely!!! In fact most of the relatives on his mom's side of the family do not speak to me willingly! His Grandmother, his sister, a couple of cousins and two aunts on his mom's BIG side of the family talk to me and are genuinely nice but the rest basically ignore or carry on a very forced fake conversation OR just outright tell me what they think of me being white. You know what really cracks me up is he wasn't really even raised by his father or really around that part of his family much but he is so much more like them it isn't even funny. My father-in-law's family is nice, outgoing, talkative and funny even to me and they actually like talking to me and invite us places .....hmmm......he is just like them not that his mom would like me saying that very much but it is true b/c my husband is nothing like his mom's family. Martez is outgoing and almost too nice...he will talk to complete strangers and he knows everyone somehow no matter where we are even out of town......not shy, snotty and quiet! They just don't like the fact that he is married to a white woman and actually grew up and moved on with his life.......OH but somehow they aren't prejudice at all? Explain that to me! Racism goes both ways baby! Ok so obviously I can never seem to even bring up his family without getting upset and going off on some tangent every single time so..............we went to the reunion where I notice that somehow over the past eight years I had not met these people. We were right on time unlike everyone else like usual. For those of you who know me you know I have a flair for tardiness but you haven't seen tardy until you attend an Oliver/Armstead/Gist event! I swear weddings, birthday parties, reunions, church will all start hours late! Well they were all "nice" for the most part not overly welcoming to me but oh well they weren't there to see me anyway. His mom got there about 20 minutes before we had to leave and then had to complain about us leaving and Martez really said, "Well we got here on time and we've been here. I told you we made plans and had to leave early but you chose to be a couple of hours late so that is your fault!" Go BABY! I love him! The reunion was to be like 4 or 5 hrs long but we stayed a couple of hours thankfully leaving before most of the "hatefuls" arrived BECAUSE Tammy and Jessie saved the day again. They got us unknowingly out of another family "not-so-social" occasion AGAIN for something else Martez would rather do and therefore leave early which benefits ME and my kids!!!! Yet another reason to LOVE the Harvey's: they have awesome timing!! I don't remember what the last occasion was but I remember I didn't want to go and then Tammy called wondering if we wanted to go to a 66ers game and of course Martez said yes so WOOHOO THEY SAVED THE DAY! THEN they saved my day again with yet another call. Tammy calls to see if we want to go to a Talons game and I said probably not b/c of the family reunion that we had to cancel the Branson trip for was that evening but I would ask Martez. Thinking he would say no I asked reluctantly but WOOHOO he said, "Yes we'll just leave the reunion early since we don't want to go anyway!" WOOHOO baby! Now those of you that know me know that I do not understand football! Tammy, Jessie, and Martez are all big football fans but I just don't understand it. The only games I plan on even watching in life are those games that my son's will play in and that is about it! HOWEVER I WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO LEAVE THE REUNION TO GO TO A TALONS GAME EVEN THOUGH I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND MUCH OTHER THAN A TOUCHDOWN OR FUMBLE! lol Needless to say I just took pics and sat! Fine with me! Thanks Harveys!

Isaiah, Elijah and John

Footbally stuff that Jessie wanted pics of

The final score!

ROAD TRIP TO OKC

After discussing the cancellation of our Branson trip and the whole MIL situation my friend Shandolynne said well lets just go to Dallas or KC this weekend instead. I said, "Well if we went to Dallas I would want to stay longer than a day and a half and what are we going to do OKC?" Of course she named off several things and at this point it didn't even matter where we went as long as we just went somewhere, anywhere to get away from our busy lives even if only for a day or two. Martez said, "lets go!" Off to planning I went BUT we had one little hitch......the fence that fell the weekend before HAD to be fixed before we could leave town so the dogs wouldn't get lost! We fixed the fence the night before we left. It took much longer than we had anticipated because it rained and rained and then you guessed it....it rained on us off and on the entire time we were fixing or maybe I should say attempting to fix it until we get a NEW fence. I was standing in mud over my ankles and my flip flops (YES I was wearing flip flops!) kept getting stuck in the mud. I wasn't about to get my pretty tennis shoes all muddy! Did we give up? NO! We obviously REALLY wanted to go out of town! Of course we then find out that his Grandmother who I just adore was having a birthday party the next day (heaven forbid they invite us ANYWHERE with more than 24 hr notice) and Martez said, "we need to get away so we are only going to one event.....the birthday party or the family reunion?" I said, "You make the decision I don't care either way but we either go to OKC this weekend or Branson next weekend. I NEED to get away and I am tired of rescheduling everything b/c your family always invites us at the VERY last minute!" He decided to call and talk to his Grandma who said, "she'd rather us go to the family reunion and just bring her a nice present there!" lol Yeah for Willie Mae! Then I make a dumb comment to Shandolynne about our early departure Saturday morning something to this effect............"Are we going to be able to get up in the morning and by "WE" I mean "YOU"? We laughed b/c well neither one of us could be described as punctual esp. her!!! hehe! Love you Shan! Bad comment on my part b/c she arrived at our house ready to go and we weren't even awake yet! Oops! Can I say open mouth, insert foot!! We got off a little later than planned but who cares b/c WE WERE OFF! So we are driving along and who calls but my MIL all "hurt and offended" that we weren't going to his Grandmother's birthday party THEN she has the balls to talk about my family AGAIN and how we "always" do stuff with my family and never attend their family gatherings. He then asks her to name a family gathering THAT WE WERE INVITED TO and did NOT attend and of course she couldn't name one! He told her it had nothing to do with my family and they weren't even involved in this and half the time his own family doesn't invite him to stuff and when they do it is always at the very last minute and he didn't want to be around a bunch of fake people anyway! Woohoo! He explains that we just need to get away for a few days and do something fun. She then says she didn't feel comfortable at Isaiah's birthday party and basically my family is stuck up! (You have got to be kidding me! Shoot the horse!) He got ticked and said she had no reason to feel that way b/c they try to talk to her but she just secludes herself and she had no reason to be hurt b/c it was GRANDMA's birthday party and he had already asked her about it and she was fine! Needless to say he ended the conversation and was not in a good mood which apparently turn his foot into lead and well........................

First of all I must say you could drive a truck between the officer's two front teeth! Not kidding! We'd never seen anything like it! That was beyond gap it was like a miniature version of the Grand Canyon in his mouth! Second of all when my husband gets nervous and all police officers make him nervous, he gets a severe case of diarrhea of the mouth. He proceeded to argue with the cop over the acceptable amount of speeding! He kept saying, "well how fast can I go?" The highway patrolman said, "the speed LIMIT is 75." Martez would ask again, "yes but how fast can I go?" They went back and forth and I was saying, "Dear stop please!" He would then say, "but how fast can I go?" I was like HELLO the speed LIMIT is 75 quit asking how fast can I go?!?!?!?! Good grief what part of speed LIMIT don't you understand! He then said, "I thought I could go 5 over the limit and not get a ticket." The officer said, "WELL you were going 8 over and I can give a ticket to anyone going at least one mile OVER 75 mph! Do you really want to argue about this?" This entire time I am listening and secretly panicking BECAUSE I forgot to put the new insurance verification in the car! Crap! I had just got my tags about a month before and I had put the second verification into my purse which would've been fine IF I hadn't switched purses to come on this trip! I gave him the old verification promising over my husband's angry mumbling that we really were insured I just didn't put the new verification in the car after I got my new tags! This whole time the kids are saying, "hi officer!" and he is saying "hi guys!" The patrolman returns to his car and we all sit talking about the officer's teeth and fingernails trying to keep Martez calm which didn't work too well! I kept saying well the insurance ticket can be dismissed after we get home and send in the right verification! The officer returns and tells Martez to slow down, explains the LIMIT situation again and to get the 5 mph over thought out of his head............THEN proceeds to give him a freaking warning! YES BUT are you kidding me! No tickets for speeding or no insurance! I thought for sure with all the arguing, this pit stop in our trip was not going to end nicely but I guess our children's looks and great personalities wiled the patrolmen and he went soft and gave us a break! Thank you Elijah, Isaiah and Quinlynne!



FINALLY we arrive and went to see the Oklahoma Capitol and of course took some pictures!

NEXT was the Omniplex - Oklahoma Science Museum! I must say I loved the Omniplex!!!! Totally hands on learning for children of all ages including 32 yr old kids! We went to the Planetarium where Martez fell asleep and started snoring several times, the little kids play area, the giant tree house exhibit, weather exhibits, dinosaurs, space, rock walls, sound, electricity, energy, puzzles, gymnastics museum......................you name it..they have it and we ALL loved it!!! EVERYONE should take there! Another plus is it really isn't expensive either.....I think it was just $10 or maybe $13 dollars for everything and the little kids were free! Who doesn't love free! Don't we all cringe a little when our wee ones pass the free stage! Ha!

He's got the whole world in his hands!

What a smile!

The Planetarium was not as exciting as we thought!

Shandolynne loves a nice John Deere!

Shandolynne loves the different earthquake wave demonstrators but this one is WAY more "EXCITING" than the others! I think it's at the "focal point"!

Somebody find my girl a man, please!!

AKA A sleeping child will remain sleeping until awakened by another loud child!

Never wake a sleeping child!

A child running in my house will stop once they are stopped by an unbalanced force which would be MOM!!

Now time for some more fun at the gymnastics museum:

That night we went to eat, took the kids swimming at the hotel then me and Shan left the kids with Martez and went for our usual trips to Sonic (I think she is addicted to Sonic! No Seriously!) and Wal-mart. We get back and the kids are asleep.....woohoo Baby! He is so good!

Now that is just too cute!

Next morning off to breakfast at Crackerbarrel which I must say was a VERY long wait and then the service was terrible!!!! Off to the OKC Zoo.............where we got to see the elephants with the trainers. I think I was more excited than anyone b/c I LOVE elephants. They are so cute and HUGE!! You know I took pics right?!?!?

This girl needs some serious "support"!!

True case of "Monkey see, Monkey do"!

Feeding the ducks and fish

Elijah loves the gorillas, cheetahs, elephants, giraffes.......................I don't know if there is an animal he doesn't love! Among the 50 professions Elijah has in mind for his future, Zookeeper is one he actually stuck with for a long time along with a trainer at Sea World and to be the next Steve Irwin!!

I love this picture! True admiration!

He said, "Mommy take a picture so it looks like I am IN the aquarium!"

I said, "Okay but don't forget to hold your breathe."

He's too funny!



We left hot and tired and came home! Not a long trip but fun and very needed! Thanks Shan! I realized after getting home and looking on the internet that we missed a whole entire side of the zoo ................................ guess we have a reason to go back now. How we missed it I don't know but we had fun regardless!

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY

The past two months have been soooooo crazy busy that we just NEED to get away! We decided to take a much needed trip to Branson. We love Branson b/c you never run out of new things to do or see and it is not too far from home PLUS we get to see my Grandma on the way! We picked a date and I made all the arrangements. We would leave on June 12th and return the 15th which worked out really good since my parents were also going that weekend so we could see my Dad on Father's Day. After all the arrangements are made and about a week before we were to leave, my MIL informs us the family reunion is that weekend. Last minute of course!! She had told us several months back that the reunion was this summer but I guess we were supposed to leave the entire summer free until she notified us of the date or run all of our plans through her. I think Martez didn't care whether he went or not but she had to make it an issue of my family vs hers like always!! SO we or I guess I should say "I" had to cancel all the arrangements!! I WAS NOT HAPPY! I swear she acts as if we freaking live with my parents! I work with my Dad and my Mom watches the boys so we have to see them everyday but it isn't like we are throwing parties and eating every single meal with my parents just livin' it up. She always says, "You always do things with HER family!" The only time my ENTIRE family is together is for major holidays and birthday parties or dinners! Other than that we are too busy with our own individual family units! Besides the fact the reason we go to those occasions is b/c we ARE INVITED unlike the many things that his family gets together for where WE are NOT invited. We can't show up to things we do not know about and I am sick and tired of rearranging our plans for every LAST MINUTE invite. I swear she waits until the VERY last second to tell us about "plans" so that she can complain when we are unable to attend! GROW UP.........and that Bible that you throw into every one's face...maybe you should actually read it and take it for what it means not for what you want it to mean when it is convenient for you!

Sorry guys but I am so sick of her talking bad about my family! She constantly says they are stuck up and won't talk to her! HA! You have got to be freaking kidding me! ANYONE who knows my family KNOWS they are the complete opposite of that! My family members will talk to anyone and have conversations with complete strangers unlike her. I am so tired of my family attempting to talk to her and her acting as if she is scared to talk to them then turn it all around on them! FOR INSTANCE, my children's birthday parties...........IF she shows up at all she always "gets lost" and is ALWAYS late not just 15 minutes late but end of the party late and then she secludes herself and talks on her freaking cell phone! Example: Isaiah's 3rd bday party was at the same park it has been at for the past three years but somehow she didn't know where it was at! The party was from 6 to 8 pm and she finally graced us with her presence at 7:40pm then she ignored my parents' attempt at a conversation with her, sat with everyone for about 10 minutes then went on her little way to a park bench at the opposite side of the park and talked on her phone LIKE SHE DOES EVERY YEAR! What a Grandmother I tell you! And Martez can't seem to see why I think she wants nothing to do with me or our kids......I guess this is her way of proving him wrong....what? WAKE UP! So I tell everyone when they ask why she walked off that she is secluding herself but somehow it will be MY family's fault! Martez walks over to ask her to come back to the shelter and she says and I quote, "I just don't want them to see my teeth because it's embarrassing!" Her teeth are falling out and she hides them as much as possible which I understand but it is funny how she takes the blame for her seclusion THEN but I KNEW it would come back on my family......................you'll hear the end of this story on the road trip phone call!

ACTING WHITE......WHAT????

Recently some of my in-laws have accused my husband of "acting white". Unsure of what they meant, we asked. Their response was when a black man marries a white woman he then begins to act white. Again we asked how is he "acting white"! Their next response was something about us having a house with nice things. Hmmmm.....I think I smell a BIG GREEN EYED MONSTER HERE!!! They go into this long story about how I was raised different. Somehow they think I was born with the silver spoon and handed everything I wanted....that is so wrong! I started working at the age of 10 before and after school and have worked ever since! I paid for my clothes, my car, all of my gas, my insurance and any functions I wanted to do all by myself! They also believe that every white person that grows up in Broken Arrow must be rich! Ha! This is all coming from a bunch of so called "Christians" who are not supposed to be judging or envying but that is ALL they seem to do when it comes to us! This is so freaking annoying but hilarious at the same time. But I am really sick of hearing about it all the freaking time! I am sorry but I do not feel sorry for them at all AND I don't feel I should have to feel guilty for anything I have worked for. They (the ones making the comments) are on welfare and will continue to be on welfare until they get their lazy asses up and get JOBS! I can say all of this because that is exactly what they do! I understand welfare and its necessity but I also know that a ton of people abuse it and use it as a way of life so they don't have to work. They can get jobs but then they will quit the job after a month or so because if you make too much then the welfare stops! Crap isn't that the point. Welfare should be a hand up not a hand-out!! Why would you want to be dependent on the government that you complain about so much? Anyhow apparently owning a home, a couple of cars and nice furniture means you must be white. And in their words he wouldn't be financially stable if he married a black woman which seriously cracked me up. Hello dumbass, you are a black woman so basically you just degraded yourself! So are they saying if he married a black woman that he wouldn't have been able to have everything he has now. It makes me mad that they think that little of him yet claim not to. So are they then saying that African-Americans can not work hard to achieve financial stability? It shouldn't matter what race your spouse is, you become financially stable by making good financial decisions and working hard. We work hard for everything we have. Our furniture we have bought throughout the years with our tax refunds as well as paid off all debt and made improvements to the house. Do they not realize that anyone can buy a house and nice things if you are willing to work for it? Nice furniture? I am sorry if I don't go out and spend my hard earned money on crap like you!! They act like we just go buy what we want when we want it - no! We do not own a money tree and my parents DO NOT SUPPORT US! We do a thing called SAVING our money to buy the big ticket items and we PLAN for our future as much as possible and we also use our tax return for those big items and home improvements. Plus I am bargain shopper extraordinaire!! We did not start our lives together with everything we have now. We worked hard and planned and now 7 years later we are doing good. We do not rub our life into anyones face so why do they feel like they have any right to comment on our lives!! Man I am seriously pissed and tired of the crap. They are merely jealous and judgmental. They know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT ME OR HOW I GREW UP NOR HAS ANYONE IN HIS FAMILY EVER ASKED ME ANYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE!! So lay off my life and worry about your own! I am happy with my life - it is you that feels like you have to tear everyone apart to build yourself up! I also don't understand how any of the things they complain about are "white". I guess trying to be successful and making sound hopefully stabilizing decisions in their eyes is only for "white" people. That just degrades yourself stupid! I know plenty of white people unable to make sound financial decisions and are swimming in debt and or on welfare so this assumption is clearly untrue. It is a personal decision not a decision based on their race. I was on WIC when we first had Elijah and I was embarrassed and swore I would never be on any assistance again. If you CHOOSE to remain on assistance rather than do whatever is necessary sustain a better lifestyle for your children, than I have no pity for you and don't want to hear about how much worse off you and your children are than mine. I will not feel guilty for trying my hardest to do everything I can for my family. Maybe you should stop all the racial based accusations and take a look in the mirror......I guess loving your granchildren, nieces and nephews, etc no matter what their race is must be a "white" thing to because my family has absolutely no problem with my husband and children while their "black" family has absolutely nothing to do with them and in social occasions doesn't even acknowledge them. You want to go somewhere lets go there! This whole deal has nothing to do with the life we have created it is: 1) mere jealousy of our happiness, 2) jealousy over material things which in the end won't matter anyway, 3) outright racism because they don't want him married to a white woman, and 4) upset because he doesn't answer their every beck and call and request for money (get a job!). Martez led a questionable lifestyle before we were together but he decided it wasn't getting him anywhere. EVERY male in his family on both his mother's side and father's side has been to the pen and he didn't want to go there so he changed. They keep mentioning all the changes like they are bad. Heaven forbid he changes his course, gets married and moves on to a better way of life! I honestly sometimes think they would rather he continued that life and ended up in jail than to marry me. What they don't understand is if they were only willing to try to get to know me and accept me, my marriage and my children they would realize how great I am!!! Ha! I mean I will do anything for those that I love but they've never even given me a chance! Martez realizes the truth behind everything they say and sees the jealousy but it still hurts him too! Sorry I have gone off for so long I just started typing and couldn't stop because I was only getting madder and madder!!! I could go on soooooooo much more but alas I will stop here other than to say the next time this is brought up to Martez we came up with his comeback: If being on welfare, watching my kids go hungry, being dirty and downright miserable enough to bring down everyone around me is acting "black" than I guess I don't want to do that. I am proud of my heritage but not your screwed up concept of it because I want to succeed in life and if that makes me "white" in YOUR eyes than so be it because I no longer care what you think. I do not feel I act "white" whatever that is supposed to mean I AM TRYING TO CARE FOR MY WIFE AND CHILDREN IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE WHICH I WOULD CALL ACTING LIKE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY IT FOR A CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!