SMALL TALK SIX!

6 pieces of advice that you think are obvious,

but some people just need to hear

1. When commenting on my children's good looks, don't finish the compliment with "What is he?" or "Is he mixed?" with a condescending smirk on your face. Then when I answer with "yes he is mixed..half human/half alien" don't look at ME like I am the crazy one. You should say, "Is he biracial/mulatto?" or simply ask me his "ethnicity". There is nothing wrong with my children. They can not help who they are or whom they came from. They are color blind when it comes to love as should all human beings. I can't help it that they are irresistibly cute, smart and sweet. Be nice! You do not have to always be politically correct if you don't have the condescending stare but remember I am their Mother and I will defend them. You are likely to get an earful, corrected or simply straight up told you hope their child didn't inherit their ugly, ignorant genes! And may the Lord above watch over you if you EVER call MY child a mutt, Oreo or the loathsome "N" word! A mutt is a dog! An Oreo is a cookie! The use of the "N" word should be outlawed!! I pity the person who would utter these remarks!

Wow sorry about that! Didn't mean for that to be so long but then I just started thinking and typing.......I can rant and ramble when it comes to that topic!! Shan, you understand!!!

2. I am a beautiful big girl! I know many beautiful big girls! HOWEVER, I don't care how much YOU love your body if you are obese YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR A BIKINI! Be proud ~ yes ~ but we ALL don't want to see it!

3. If you have a gut then buy pants that fit. Do NOT buy super low cut jeans with your gut hanging over the top and hanging out below your shirt!! If you have to lift the gut up to unbutton or button the jeans, THEY DO NOT FIT!

4. To the skinny girls who look cute in the low rise jeans: I don't want to see your crack EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you bend over, crouch down or take a step. Yes you are cute but by the next size up so you can be even cuter!!

5. Do not scream at me from your car when the windows are down unless you know my window is up! I do have children and even if you aren't cussing they don't need to learn from you or your music so loud it could wake the dead! If they are not with me, I will scream right back at you and you will be shocked that my window is also down, I have a mild case of psychosis and I can follow you home in my truck that is bigger than yours!!!! Bwahahahaha..........LOL........JUST KIDDING........maybe!!

6. PUT YOUR CHILD IN THE CAR SEAT AND STRAP THEM IN!

MAJOR CASE OF ROAD RAGE

As if my road rage wasn't bad enough when the power was out and I figured out who in Tulsa and BA actually understands the concept of A 4WAY STOP yesterday was BAD! For those of you who do not know me I have road rage - at least I admit it - now move on! The road rage has calmed considerably since now I ride with a two year old and five year old. I don't have a problem with cussing or flipping the bird since that would be inappropriate I will just follow you and say my peace which I haven't done in a long time. I will also say driving a big SUV has helped to - now I don't care as much because I think people get intimidated and are less likely to piss me off since now I can just run them over! However there are still the few of them that try to act as if they didn't see me - SERIOUSLY - how could you miss me! Well yesterday I took the boys to the mall to see Santa which was not a jolly experience for me anyway then this woman gets mad at me at a for way stop because of HER inability to understand the word STOP! It was clearly my turn since she hadn't even stopped yet but for some reason she decides to honk continuously for several minutes while flipping the bird to my car full of kids! B I could just run her over however I then decide after her persistant ignorance to follow her through the mall parking lot to have a friendly little chat! Well I follow her to her little parking space and basically tell her that it was not my fault she is to ignorant to understand the concept of a 4way stop and she really should reconsider how she acts since 1-it's Christmas, 2- I could have just hit her and plowed her tiny little butt down, 3 - I could've of been a crazy-gun-toting-just listened to my screaming child and a not so jolly Santa for an hour-driving a big car with road rage momma, and 4 - my kids are in the car so it was really not nice of her to flip them the bird....... I went on and on and she looked so scared and shocked and her silence felt great but not as great as her apology to me and them my kids - gotta love it! Not so sure which was a worse influence her idiot behavior and flipping me off for NO reason or my kids seeing me follow her and have a "little chat" - outside of the car so at least they didn't hear me. I must say though trying to explain the "bird" is much harder then telling them I had to correct her for her behavior. THEN I take all the kids home for Martez to tend to while I go to work. On my way to work I get seriously cut off then the person waves to me like I let them over 1 foot in front of me ONLY to come to an immediate stop so they could turn into Wal-mart real fast. As my breaks squeal and my horn is honking and not so nicities are spewing I realize I SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET OUT OF THE CAR AND OUT OF HOLIDAY TRAFFIC BEFORE I KILL SOMEONE!! Merry Christmas to all and to all a safe and please SMART driving night!