WRITER'S WORKSHOP WEDNESDAY ~ A LITTLE LATE!

I know this is actually last week's prompts; however, something unexpected happened and I was unable to finish until now so needless to say I didn't link up. I was going to discard it but I was almost done so I am posting it anyway.

Enjoy!

It's time for Writer's Workshop Wednesday with Mama Kat and I must say I am having a hard time picking just ONE prompt this week so I will be doing many!

1. Why did you do it?

Hubs and I met in Dec 2000 and I was pregnant by April 2001. Nice! I know, right! Needless to say not exactly my proudest moment, but I was excited. I could NOT believe I was pregnant! It took the nurse a lot of convincing for it to sink in. I was told 4 years earlier after several medical complications and many cysts that I would never be able to get pregnant. It crushed me but I had dealt with this fact of life and moved on. So when I found out I was actually pregnant , I was excited even though I was not married. My family was a different story. Now obviously I did not wait until I was married to have sex like I had been taught all of my life. I know many people disagree with this BUT I can NEVER say I regret that decision because that would be saying I regret Elijah. My parents first and only reaction was "Are you getting married?"

MY answer was "NO!"

They were appalled and upset to say the least. I was so hurt that after knowing my struggle with the thought of never having babies they were not even the least bit excited (at first but they got over that) I still to this day stand firm in my belief that couples should not get married because they are having a child. I know MANY MANY people disagree with me but unless you have been there, you don't really know.

How many people do you know that got married due to pregnancy starting ages ago when that was the "rule of thumb" that are now divorced?

I know if you aren't ready for marriage and kids then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place but alas I was young and not the best decision maker. My family did not understand. My view is this. Things happen. I NEVER EVER wanted Hubs to marry me because I was pregnant. I wanted the wedding. I wanted him to marry me because he couldn't imagine his life without me in it. I NEVER wanted him to be able to say somewhere down the road in the midst of an argument that he only married me because I was pregnant. I can't imagine how hurt I would be. Some may consider that selfish but oh well! I wanted him to marry me for me not because he felt trapped or pushed into it by others' opinions. We had a couple of rough years before we got married and I don't think we were ready for marriage because we were both too selfish and naive. I heard all the "well if you aren't ready for marriage then you aren't ready for children" speeches and I still believe strongly in my choice. I think waiting and working on our issues only made us stronger and more mature. I honestly don't know if we would have made it had we got married as soon as I got pregnant. So why did I do it? Because it is our life, our decision and our child! We feel we made the best decision that only made us happier and stronger in the end.

2. What is a common misconception about you?

This misconception is handed out by my in-laws. They believe because of where I was raised and my parents owning their own business that we are rich and snobby. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh how that angers me! First of all we were FAR FAR from rich. I have worked for my parents since I was ten years old. I had to work before and after school plus weekends. I really did not participate in many school activities. It was work and church activities only. I feel like I missed out on a lot of my childhood because of it but I would in no way say I had a "bad" childhood. I had friends and I got to do a lot of things BUT I paid for them myself by working. I worked. I was not entitled. I paid for my gas, my car insurance, my clothes, many camps and retreats, movies and outings. We were by NO means rich! I believe growing up and working for money made me a more responsible adult with more appreciation for the things I have. Don't get me wrong ~ at the time I hated it but I learned so much. Now the snobby part is hysterical to me. ANYONE who knows ANYONE in my family and has spent at least 1 SECOND with them or me KNOWS WE are FAR from snobby. How is it that they REFUSE to talk to us and then we are the snobs?

Pot meet kettle!!

In fact, I am not even going to expand anymore on my feelings about that portion and just leave it at that! Maybe they have misconceptions because they have NEVER ONCE ask me ANY questions about my childhood nor have they EVER tried to get to know me. Even when I try to start any type of conversation I get simple one word "I don't want to talk to you" answers!

I just have one thing to say ~

Nothing I have was or is handed to me. We work hard for what we have MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY IT!! Oh that felt good!

3. Describe a moment when you felt afraid

~When I was 6 mos pregnant with Elijah, I was having horrible pains. I thought I was having a heart attack but turns out after going to the ER that I had to have my gallbladder removed. I was in serious pain folks. I think it was worse than labor. Anyway they said I HAD to have the surgery and the baby would be fine. Then on my way into surgery the anesthesiologist decides to tell me if I had the surgery I would be killing the baby. WHAT? Turns out he was wrong and not allowed to be my anesthesiologist because of his remarks. I had the surgery and we were both fine.

~My emergency C-section with Elijah because his heart was freaking out!

~When I realized my fears of Isaiah not being able to hear me were true!

~All three of Isaiah's surgeries

4. In what ways are you turning into your Mother?

Let's see......my nose peels 365 days a year and we have both tried anything and every thing!! I worry like my Mother which in turn causes bowel issues ~ I know TMI!! We both have IBS! I know, TMI! We can't seem to tell people NO when asked to do something even when we don't want to. She is horrible at this and I am getting worse! I just hope I turn out to be half the Mother/Woman she is!

5. Are you always right?

This has to be THE dumbest question EVER!!!

Am I always right?

YES

If YOU think I am wrong, think AGAIN!

In all honesty, I am not always right just 99.9% of the time!!

TWO CENTS TUESDAY ~ INSPIRATION

OOPS!

If you are here for Wordful Wednesday, then I am sorry but I linked up with the wrong post and will link up again with the right post later!

Sorry!

Who inspires me?

My parents

My parents have been married for 45 years ~ need I say more!!

Yes they have had ups and downs but EVERY marriage will.

Although they are not perfect, they have made it through the good, the bad and the ugly and made their marriage a priority unlike others who put marriage on the back burner.

They are still in love even though they still don't love every thing about each other.

They fight like any other human who wants to be right but their fights are funny to me!

I know it might sound bad but I hope when it is their time that they will go to heaven together b/c I could not bare to see the pain of them being apart from one another!

HOW WE MET ~ PART 1

Several people have emailed and asked how Hubs and I met so here is the story...hang on....

We actually met in the Spring of 1997 when he came to my friend's parents' house with her then boyfriend. He was nice, polite and very smiley. At the time, we were both with someone else and nothing ever came about other than us meeting one another. Now I must note here that at that moment he drove a 1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme aka BIG old car and it was yellow. Apparently, we lived about 1/4 of a mile from each other and over the years we saw each other at the gas station from time to time. He ALWAYS recognized me but I could NEVER remember his name or how I knew him. He would ask how my friend and her son were doing then would say to tell them Hi and each and EVERY time I would see him he would smile from ear to ear! I could NEVER remember his name and felt bad so I would never ask. I would always call my friend and say, "Hey I saw the Smiley Banana Boat man again and he asked about you! He is so smiley!" She would always say, "I just love him. He is so sweet!"

Well come to find out the people we were in relationships with had been with each other in the past and behind our backs they were off and on still.....good thing we got rid of them. We both rid our lives of those scum buckets and moved on.

About 9 months after the breakups and almost 4 yrs since our original meeting, we saw each other again in late December of 2000. We were at a hole in the wall bar called Three Frogs where my friend and I were regulars (wow how times have changed!) who loved to dance. We were dancing and he kept staring at me. I kept trying to point him out to her because I did NOT recognize him at all and his incessant staring was beyond annoying to me. When she finally saw him, she screamed and ran to give him a hug saying "That is the guy you call Banana Boat man!" I kept dancing and she coaxed him out onto the dance floor to dance with us. Now I must say it is a good thing I was not looking for a man that could dance because this man could not catch a beat to save his life. BAD. REALLY. BAD. He still can not dance and I am almost positive he is tone deaf too. Man can not dance or sing and I have yet to find a rhythmic bone in his body but I love his body ~ missing bone and all!

By this time, he had longer hair. Not LONG but longer and in little twisty things ~ yes yet again this is a highly technical African American hair term ~ which I hated. I do not like guys with long hair. I do not like boys with long hair. I just don't. Personal preference so don't get all offended. NOW Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall.........I certainly liked him with long hair!!! Please hold while I drool over my current mental image..................

In my teenage years their were plenty of long haired rockers I fawned over but not now. My friend gave him my number without my knowing and insisted that we should be together. He would call and we would chat IF I answered the phone but I just was not attracted to him. He seemed very nice but I just wasn't sure. I had major trust issues at the time. I just wanted time to myself after being with a loser for over 3 years then with a hot guy with NO self esteem and major paranoia for 6 months. He still kept calling and asking me to go out but I had started some night classes and I always found some excuse. Eventually he asked flat out so I was honest and said "I am NOT attracted to men with longer hair AT ALL. You are nice but I just can't right now." My thoughts with this answer were (1) he could lie and toy around with me if I mentioned trust issues which could hurt me again and (2) what guy would chop his hair off for a date.

My friend and I were always together and somehow Banana Boat man would show up in odd places. Coincidence ~ I think not, he had a little birdie in his ear! We had been shopping and he had overheard us talking about a pair of shoes I wanted to buy so he secretly bought them. That evening he came over to her house, knocked on the door and the rest as they say is history......

...just kidding.......

....I opened the door to find him holding a present for me and he had CUT HIS HAIR OFF! Needless to say, I was shocked! WHO cuts their hair to get a date? WHO buys someone shoes to get a date? Now granted they were not the right shoes and I wore them only once but I could NOT BELIEVE he even THOUGHT about ME. And cutting his hair ~ who does that?!?! I was speechless which VERY RARELY happens to me! The only thing he said was, "Will you please go out with me now?" With tears in my eyes, I said a quivery "sure".............wow he was so thoughtful.....who knew......WHO cuts their hair just to land a date?!?!?

STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO

TWO CENTS ~ ROMANCE

I was invited to join Tutu's Bliss in Two Cents Tuesday so of course this just enables my blogging addiction so who I am to deny my addiction.

I am going to stick with her topic of romance which really made me think!

All too often the romance fades or the initial "honeymooners" definition of romance!

Our jobs, 3 boys, sports, homework, housework and life in general all seem to put the initial idea of romance on the back burner.

My Hubs is no longer the one to randomly go buy shoes, clothes, flowers and cards and although at times I miss these things I have accepted and embraced our new romance.

I am sure you all have it but don't realize it! Instead of griping about it just imagine if the "new" romance didn't exist.

Our new romance is

him holding my hand while he drives,

the smack on the butt anytime I bend over,

helping me and talking to me while we fold laundry,

the smack on the butt anytime I walk by,

the kiss he gives me each and every morning at 5am when he leaves for work and thinks I am asleep,

the smack on the butt not b/c it starts "anything" but just because he likes my big 'ol butt,

calling me each morning at 6am to make sure I am up and to tell me good morning,

cleaning up the dinner mess (occasionally),

picking up the boys everyday,

letting me sleep in on the weekends if it is at all possible,

alternating bath nights and believing me when I tell him it is HIS night when it is actually mine,

loving me regardless of my weight and my complaining about it,

running to the store on a moments notice,

learning and perfecting the fine art of sarcasm instead of letting mine eat him alive (he's getting a little too good now!),

laughing and saying "I just love you!" when he is annoyed,

watching the boys so I can go to crop for 12 hours,

tokens of affection (it amazes me how many married couples are affectionate)

not being able to stay mad at me for any real length of time because I can always prove I am right explain myself and move on to make him smile and laugh.....

I could go on and on and sure some of you will say he is supposed to do a lot of the things listed or that they aren't romantic BUT just think about all the people you know who take all those "little" things for granted and how miserable they are because to them romance is merely material things!

After 8 years, he still makes me smile and laugh everyday and I love to watch him with our children!

No our life isn't all roses (he doesn't get them much remember) but I have to take into account we are very busy right now with young children. Sure more nights out alone would be great and it's easy to take the little things for granted and shoot for the roses, dancing, dinner, movie, vacations but I love our life. I could go on and on about what he doesn't do but instead I choose to value his tokens of affection and appreciate them (at least until he sits on the couch while I walk by a million times during a cleaning session). I know far too many couples who nag about EVERY little thing and let the good pass them by unnoticed instead of appreciating them and they are completely miserable. I choose to accept our new definition of romance for the time being! I've had the material things and now they are gone! After the kids are gone *sniff sniff* and we have more money, then a good smack on the butt better be followed by a dozen roses, a cruise, purses, shoes..........and until then I accept the little things because imagine all the couples and single people who don't even have that!

Next time I am complaining about a missed Mother's Day gift, Valentine's gift or having to do EVERYTHING around here, will one of you please refer me to this post so I can remind myself of my appreciation and wisdom on my "new" romance!!

Thanks!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!

Up close and personal!

Five years ago on September 27th, I married the love of my life! I would say he changed me but I truly believe our love changed US to be better people and better parents! We have grown SO much since we met it is unreal!

In Dec we will have been together for 8 yrs. The first year and a half was ROCKY to say the least but we both made a decision to either split apart or work it out for good and that is exactly what we did - we worked it out. He makes me so happy not to say he never aggravates me but he loves me FOR WHO I TRULY AM and a lot of people can't say that. I realize how lucky I am to have a husband who helps with the kids, works two jobs (b/c HE wants to provide more), coaches his son's football team and still has time for the cop a feel moments! lol He still makes me laugh, smile and can talk about nothing into the wee hours if I can't sleep (not so say he doesn't fall asleep while I am talking) AND I appreciate him for it!! Even if I complain to my friends who are mostly single moms about stuff he doesn't do, they are quick to defend HIM b/c of all they know he DOES for me AND the kids - even for THEIR kids - w/o being asked! I never thought I would find a "keeper" that my friends AND family would love too! Trust me my family loves him like he is their own and he loves them too! (Sometimes I wonder if they may even love HIM more! ha well ok not ha!)

For the most part we really don't fight at least not like other couples we know. WELL unless HE is driving! lol Yes we disagree and racial issues will bring about a heated discussion but he then understands I am always right and won't allow racial issues as a cop out (sp?)! lol Just kidding but honestly we discuss our differences and sometimes we just have to agree to disagree b/c no two people will ever agree on EVERYTHING 100%. We have only slept apart two nights in almost eight years except when I've been in the hospital for childbirth and other random surgeries. Yes sometimes I wish we had more alone time but that is a bridge I think every parent wants to cross. He is an amazing father AND daddy to our boys and I love every time Isaiah (Daddy's boy) says, "Daddy I missed you and I wuv you buncha bunches! You my best Daddy evo!" and then Martez gets the biggest grin and repeats it back to him. It is moments like that that make each bad day seem not so bad.

My three loves!

Tonight the boys went to spend the night with Meme and Papa while we went to the Riverwalk. We went to eat at Outback - oh how I love Outback steaks! Then we went to the Riverwalk, watched a movie and then walked around. I must say I thought the Riverwalk was going to be a lot more than it was. Maybe once there is more it will appeal to us more. Then Martez wanted to go to the casino and even though I didn't really want to, I obliged. We walked in and he said, "Do you want to go to the high stakes room?" My answer was "Baby WE aren't high stakes" but again I obliged. I sat down at a five dollar wheel of fortune machine, put in ten dollars and with four pokes of a button and thirty seconds later I was up $600! I guess I am high stakes after all! I wasn't sure if I had actually won that money so I cashed out to check and just stared at the voucher in disbelief as I read "six hundred ten dollars and no cents". I quickly decided not to push my luck and called it quits. We left happy with our winnings and went home to get lucky again! (wink wink) You know you are old when you are at home in bed on a child free night at 10:30pm! At least I didn't say we were "asleep" at 10:30pm! TMI I KNOW! I love you baby!

THINGS CHANGE!

For years Martez has been wanting to go to an OU football game since he has never been. Our anniversary is Sept 27 so I decide to surprise him a little early with OU/TU tickets, I have been to OU games before when I was little but I am NOT much of a football fan unless it is my boy playing but I sucked it up and bought him tickets. That's the way love goes....are you singing?! It was really cute Friday when I gave him an OU shirt with the tickets he said, "Are they real?" No I thought I would get you a shirt and some fake tickets silly! Well we get to the game and discover our seats suck and there is no entry/exit aisle near our seats so we had to climb over about 30 people to get to our seats. Sadly this also meant we would have to climb over those same people to use the restroom or get a drink. Needless to say we didn't pee or drink the entire game and I thought I could died by the 4th quarter! The game went on and on and on.........! Never again will I go to a televised football game! They stop everything for commercial breaks and you sit there. I guess I should've been happy since that was the only time we got to sit. Man was that irritating! Standing for almost 4 hours elbow to elbow is not fun especially if you have plantar fasciitis!! I don't get it why can't they sit down to watch the game. I know our seats sucked but really you can see from anywhere until that one row of people stands and slowly but surely EVERYONE behind stands up row after row. THEN I think the man behind me had something wrong with him like maybe tourettes and I tried not to get annoyed since he couldn't help it I don't think but after the first hour my sympathy wore VERY thin! You can't even imagine how I was after 4 hours!! He would just shout any and all random football words which normally had nothing to do with the current plays. Then he just started yelling things that other people were talking about. One man talking to his friend said the refs needed to go back to Oregon so he yelled "GO BACK TO OREGON!" Then some lady said "what was that" so he yelled "WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?" Take into consideration these people were some of the few not yelling but he made sure to yell out there random personal conversations. Then for hours he yelled "HEY TU YOU ARE LOSING!" Finally I said, "I think they probably know that and they can't hear you anyway no matter how loud and often you yell." This of course didn't stop anything and I wish I could say he was drunk but he wasn't drinking nor did he smell of alcohol since I think I would've been drunk off his breath since he was so close to me. I started feeling like I could hear him even when he wasn't yelling like his voice was stuck inside my head. He hit me in the back of the head about 6 million times and the guy beside him got mad about a call and karate chopped my shoulder and brought tears to my eyes. Martez was not real happy about that but I asked him not to say or do anything since I didn't want to be crushed by an angry mob if a fight ensued especially since we had no exit aisle. But you gotta love when your man would fight for you, I guess! Anyway I tried to enjoy or at least pretend to enjoy the game for Martez's sake but I can't say I wasn't ecstatic when he said we could leave when there was ten minutes left!! YIPPEE! Afterwards we went to the bar where we met about 7 years ago. We haven't been there in almost 6.5 years but have been together ever since so don't say anything about meeting people in bars. Needless to say the bar much like ourselves has had a total overhaul! It was nothing like it was then. They knocked out walls, rearranged and added on a room which now hosts live bands. The live band was hardcore rock 'n roll playing hits from today and all the back to the 80s. We aren't really rock 'n roll/metal people but the 15 people who were there were really nice. They asked what brought us there. When we told them we met there 7 years ago and now we are married with two children but we just wanted to reminisce a little, I got a free beer, woohoo! We stayed about 45 min then went home! All in all we had a great night because we were together without children for once!!!