1.) Create a list of playground dos and dont's.
DON'T wear flip flops or any form of sandal! Those large chunks of mulch will undoubtedly stab you in the foot......why must they use such painful material? If you don't get stabbed, then it will surely get stuck inside your shoe. The rule is if you can't walk in it barefoot then don't wear flip flops!
DON'T wear high heels to the park! THAT is just plain ignorant!
DON'T climb UP the slide! This is difficult for children to understand for some reason until they are kicked in the face by the next person sliding down. My children are highly guilty of this one!
DON'T talk on your phone the entire time you are at the park. Kids grow up way too fast and you have plenty of time outside of this bonding moment to chat on the phone!
DON'T tell your little nose picker to wipe their boogers on the nearest piece of equipment that my child might touch! That's just gross!
DON'T bring your sick kid to the park. This includes children who have had fevers within 24 hrs, vomited in.....oh like 48 hrs......or if their nose is running off their face.....KEEP THE KID HOME! Please! I know you don't want to be cooped up with a sick kid but we don't want what they have!
DON'T wear hooker clothes to the park! We don't want to see it because we are fat! Well by "we" I mean "I" but in denial! Remember it will be harder for you to breath with me sitting on you! Remember when I jump off the swing and purposely land on....I could crush you! Not bitter! Not bitter at all!
DON'T climb into things with your child unless you KNOW you can fit through to reach the other side! That would suck! I avoid this little mishap by crawling in NOTHING!
DON'T mention the park to me outloud in front of my child unless you know I want to go! This makes it harder for me to say NO! Beware, I will tell your kid you are taking him/her to McDonald's!
DO make your children wash their hands after leaving or giving them any snack! Hello! At least get antibacterial crap for them to smear the virus around before eating!
DO wait at the bottom of the slide especially if they are coming down face first!
DO push your kid on the swing! When you get tired just push them beyond their comfort zone and they will want off!!
DO swing in the swing next to your child! It will make you feel younger and free....I promise!
DO take pictures! They will be some of the best with all the colors of nature and the true smiles of a child having fun.
DO HAVE FUN!