Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
First of all it goes to the tune of Mr. Sandman.....you know the one.....Mr.Sandman, bring me a dream, make him the cutest that I've ever seen.....ok I will wait as you catch the tune and get your vocals ready...
.....still waiting because I know some of ya'll are googling to get the tune because when you had kids they sucked the brains and memory clear out of your head like they did mine! Why do you think I stopped with kid number 2? Besides ya'll know you originally started blogging so you wouldn't forget all the crazy cute things your kids do!.....
....ready, let's go.....
Mr. Plowman, we need to talk (bum bum bum bum)
I need a break so let's take a walk (bum bum bum bum)
Your plowing maaaaiiinn streets the sun melted (bum bum bum bum)
The cars behind you are getting pelted.
Plowman, I'm not alone
The Okie Mommss don't want to stay home
Please plow the right streets
Mr. Plowman we need to meet!
(bum bum bum bum bum........)
Mr. Plowman, YOU don't get it
I've had more fun just pinching my zits
The kids are bored, restless and fighty
The cabin fever symptoms are so mighty
Plowman, I'm not alone
The Okie Mommss don't want to stay home
Pleeeease plow the right streets
Mr. Plowman, we need to meet!
(bum bum bum bum bum........)
Mr. Plowman, (male voice: "Yessss!") us Mom's are real coollllll
but our ki-ids need back in school
The maaaaiinn streets are clear of all icy
so do the streets by homes it would be nicey
Sandman, please plow the bus routes (plow the bus routes)
Before the Okie Moms go on the outs
We'rrree going o-nn day three
Mr. Plowman plow them, please please please
Mr. Plowman plow the right streets!
Rough I know! I only changed it a kazillion times while singing the madness today after I saw the plows going down clear main roads and received a call cancelling school tomorrow yet AGAIN due to unclear bus routes! Not bitter! Not bitter at all I tell you!
This is how my day has gone.....
8:30am ~ Dad calls telling me he won't be in today because he went to the ER last night and he has two kidney stones. This means more than likely he will NOT be making his Aunt's funeral or pickup up my Grandma to take her to Iowa for her sister's funeral. What now?
9:00am ~ While getting out of the shower, I hear Isaiah having a coughing fit. I go to check on him wrapped up in my nifty new Sexy Mama towel Momacita Cleta made me when low and behold he coughs, gags then vomits on my feet! Nice! He doesn't have the flu or anything like that he just does this if he gets any cough AT ALL! I think he has my easily triggered gag reflex!
9:15am ~ Done with shower #2
9:20am ~ Mom calls to tell me about Dad going to the ER not knowing he already called. She wants to know if I will stop by his doctor's office to pick up his medicines. Ok what is one more stop for Dad!
10:00am ~ We are finally in the car and on our way!
10:40am ~ FINALLY leaving the doctor's office! I thought I was going to go postal in there, seriously! First I had to wait in the line with 5 people in front of me. Going pretty fast until the man directly in front of me had a NEVER. ENDING. STORY. I thought I was going to rip my hair out! This man kept asking the same question over and over and over again and without fail the receptionist kept saying I don't know sir you will have to ask him when you see him. He kept saying, "Well is he going to do it!" Same cookie cutter response. "Well is he going to do it!" Again same cookie cutter response! Man....GET. A. CLUE. she does not know!! I thought for a minute maybe he needed a quick slap on the back of the head because he had a one track mind or something was stuck up in there! FINALLY THEY GET TO ME! No meds! No prescriptions! I then begin to wonder if I had misunderstood Mom and was supposed to go to the pharmacy but now the blind receptionist just missed his prescriptions ON THE TOP OF THE PILE THREE TIMES!! Call Dad to see if he wants me to drop off the scripts for Mom to P/U or just wait for them! Just wait! Great!
10:45am ~ The pharmacy says it is a 30 minute wait if I "drop off" the script in the drive thru but only a 10 to 15 minute wait if I come inside. OK well that was a no brainer! I unload the boys, go into the pharmacy to shop around while we wait!
11:00am ~ Still waiting!
11:15am ~ Still waiting and getting impatient!
11:35am ~ It's finally go time! We waited not 10 minutes, not 15 minutes, not even 30 minutes BUT A WHOPPING 45 MINUTES! DUDE I SO ABOUT LOST ALL MY MARBLES IN THERE!!
12:00pm ~ On my way to work I decided to call my friend to see if she had left her house since Monday. She does NOT leave her house until ALL ice is gone and refuses to emerge to drive AT ALL until then. I was calling to check on her....well ok more like make fun of her when all of the sudden A LARGE LINE OF ICE from the power line above my car FALLS ONTO MY WINDSHIELD! I screamed and think I peed a little which she thought was absolutely hilarious and said it was God teaching me to be nice! Not funny, not funny at all! I am finally at work! Woohoo the excitement is almost unbearable!
2:00pm ~ Went to Taco Bell. More ice failing from power lines onto my windshield which means more pee and more screaming. Dude it makes you want to scream "the sky is falling, the sky is falling" and hop out of the car until you realize you would look like a complete moron and that would totally undermine the whole "I am woman hear me roar" mantra! I might need to carry clean underwear in my car from now on!
NOTE TO OKLA DRIVERS: Do not stop directly under any stop lights or power lines at traffic stops when the ice begins to melt. The ice will fall on your car and can cause temporary loss of bladder control! No loss of bowel control has been reported but it could be likely! You've been warned!
4:02pm ~ I got a rather cryptic email from fellow BA blogger Georgie telling me school is cancelled again tomorrow. I thought surely it was just a sick joke and laughed it off!
4:05pm ~ My sister calls to tell me her husband has been rushed to emergency surgery to have his gallbladder removed at 3:40pm
4:25 pm ~ My phone rings again and blinking "BA Schools" knowing it was the automated telecast school cancellation message, I cringed but answered only to find out Georgie's email was in fact correct and school is cancelled again tomorrow! UGH! This prompted my Writer's Workshop post I will be doing when I am finished with this one!
4:45pm ~ Feeling bad for my sister waiting in the family surgical waiting room alone I decide to go sit with her. This was quite a tough decision for me since on Oct. 7, 2008 her husband left her and the kids. My thoughts went like so
- My sister is alone! Although estranged from her husband, the father of her youngest boy, she still desperately wants to work it out with the giant sized loser and I know she is a bundle of nerves.
- Although I under no circumstances wanted to see him, I did have visions of him in a drug induced state and me kicking some sense into his big 'ol butt. This would probably be my one and only chance to fight him AND win!! Oh how nice it would be for him not to be able to talk back~!!
5:00pm ~ I arrive at the hospital and convince my sister to walk up to EOPC to see a certain special little girl in the blogger community. Guess who I say this evening? My sister thought I was nuts and would come off as stalkerish but after telling her HARPER's story and about all the gifts and visitors she has already had then she was on board. We thought we would never find her through the medical supply and blind covered windows but low and behold we found her. They were holding her for the first time and we just cried. Mommy was grinning ear to ear with teary eyes while Daddy was taking pictures a million pictures with his giant camera. No joke guys they have a whopper of a camera! Then the nurse handed her a bottle so she could feed her for the first time and we cried even more. I wanted so badly to wave or knock on the window but there was NO way on God's green Earth I was going to interrupt their long awaited moment. I can't imagine waiting that long to hold and feed my baby and the last thing I would want is some blogger bangin' on the window! lol I could barely see Harper but when I could she was a beauty. She is so big and cute! I wish I could have met the Stamps but it was not about me after all just that sweet little baby and her parents. I could not wait to get home to see all the new pictures I knew would soon be up!
7:30pm ~ I call Hubs to tell him I am leaving the hospital and will be home shortly when he says, "Can you stop and get some food?" meaning he has yet to feed our children.
8:00pm ~ Get home, feed family nutritious fast food, begin cleaning house and doing laundry with a blogger check now and then! OOOOhhh and they have tonight's pictures of Harper up so you must go see her!
I didn't want to say they are berries then get comments telling me how stupid I am because I really don't know what in the world they are, I just love the picture!
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Monday, January 26, 2009
- I did NOT suck on the pump of a mini Windex bottle thinking it was my drink while blogging into the wee morning hours and eating a King Size Snickers.
- I did NOT cry because it snowed on my son's birthday. This was the only thing he prayed for and I was NOT a complete emotional wreck.
- During a MAJOR chocolate craving I did NOT rip the kitchen apart trying to find any form of chocolate only to find the leftover Halloween stash with just two bite size bars.....you know they would have been gone in 2 seconds flat if I actually DONE this!!
- I did NOT call our lawyer and completely flip out because Tez has lived with us for over a year and the child support payments are still coming out of Hubs checks. Tez's mother NEVER EVER gives us the money back and never pays us child support either. We had agreed we did NOT want child support from HER simply b/c we knew she wouldn't pay it but WHY ARE WE STILL PAYING HER!! Short of giving the lawyer another retainer to sue her for the money I bet we will never see it!!! I am at the point that I want him to quit his job just so the payments stop! Really we are paying for him to live here and never asked her to pay child support but then we are paying HER for a child she doesn't even have custody of or even a desire for regular visitation. I hate the dept in our state that handles child support.....they sit on their butts NOT doing a thing for anyone except themselves!! Half the people don't get child support at all and then there's us paying child support for a kid WE have custody of!!! HELLO CAN WE SAY IDIOTS?!?!?! Sorry did NOT plan on that one being so long but it ticks me off and once I get started...........
- I did NOT go to our new Dave and Busters and while I was rounding up the children, the rest of our crew waited at the door. I did NOT just about knock out some mouthy drunk woman. I was NOT standing there talking to my 7 yr old son and 14 yr old stepson when she pushed me into my son and into an arcade game on purpose yelling "EXCUSE YOU!" SERIOUSLY I WANTED TO KNOCK HER OUT AND I WON'T EVEN DENY IT!! If her friends would NOT have grabbed her and lead her off apologizing then she would have been lying on the floor. NO one I repeat NO adult is going to push me AND MY LITTLE BOY!!! Needless to say I have NO desire to return especially with children!!
- I did NOT attend a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese b/c I HATE that place with a passion! I then did NOT think anyone would be there because who still goes there so it wouldn't be that bad ONLY to arrive with a packed out crowd of loyal Chuck E. Cheese fans ~ I think I could actually feel my blood pressure rising and my claustrophobia taking control!
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Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Isaiah was just 19 months old and he was okay with it until the moment he fell and got it on his hands. The boy literally swore off anything to do outdoors including walking. It took almost a full two weeks for every tiny bit to disappear and he didn't not walk on solid ground outdoors for those full two weeks until every last flake was gone!! Now at age 3 he wants to build a snowman so bad but he hasn't had enough snow!!
Then of course there was Daisy who was still alive at the time and loved for us to throw snowballs for her to catch mid-air and eat!
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3. If your child or pet gets into the cleaners, then they will not be harmful!
2. They are easier and cheaper to make!
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- file the 100 stacks of bill lying throughout the house (sadly I never open any of them b/c I do everything on the Handy Dandy WWW)
- gather all the 2008 info needed to do my taxes (mortgage info/medical/daycare)
- I will be doing nothing else since this will take me FOREVER!!!!
Our little model can be seen here wearing his older brother's highly-fashionable, neon-flashing, Ninja Turtle-talking glasses at the age of 18 months! Yes he started early folks our little fashioniste (I know it is supposed to be fashionista but I think his Daddy might hurt someone for calling his baby boy a fashionista ~ so bear with me!)
At almost two he revealed his own fashion statement by wearing these very in style glasses upside down!!
Just weeks ago for Christmas Isaiah got his very own talking, noise making and too big for his head racing helmet! Now he doesn't have to make ALL of his own sound effects while running through the house driving his imaginary race car!
Our little GQ boy may appear happy in his superstar glasses; however, at 7:10am this morning it was quite another story as he couldn't find his "star swungwasses" anywhere. You can see why he was so upset b/c he looks too darn cute in them!
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Tuesday, January 20, 2009
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Saturday, January 17, 2009
John and Elijah attempt to dance!
And my favorite pic of the outing:
At least he does NOT get his dancing abilities from his Daddy!
This is all from his Momma and her little twinkle toes!
Pretty nice view huh Shan!
Girl look at him! Nice looking, tall, athletic, personality plus, good with kids, funny and then of course there is the whole "Big Easy" part!
Am I a good friend or what?!?!
I will wait as you go catch up!!
I am writing this letter to let you know you might single handedly be my excuse for being overweight! Why? Why did you make the snickers such a creamy, chocolatey, peanuty, caramely, addictive, fattening, delicious bar of love and then go and make it KING SIZE? I mean the addiction was bad enough with the regular size bar so why make the addiction KING SIZE? Sometimes I wonder if I could live off the sinful goodness you created and then I look into the evil fat image starring back at me in the mirror. I can't erase the stretch marks caused by two pregnancies and countless KING SIZE snickers! I can't get rid of the gallbladder-ectomy, appendectomy, oophrectomy, tumor-ectomy and two c-section scars that lace the upper portion of my body. Yes those are proper medical terms there!! But the rolls of fat that took over the abdominal region of my body I can't control either thanks to you! The rolls got bigger as your Snickers got bigger so YOU are the one I will blame. Sure I put the bar into my mouth but YOU made it addictive and irresistible to people the world over. How do you live with yourself? Hold on......
.....sorry I needed yet another bite. I have to pace myself or the speed at which the bar disappears overwhelms me! I am writing this with a proposal in mind. How about you discontinue the KING SIZE Snickers and pack 3 bite size bars into one package? Maybe I could spread those out, finish one and save some for later since I wouldn't want to ever admit I ate 3 Snickers in one day! Just a thought!
I WILL admit the name SnickersSatifies.com is a GREAT name for a website simply because it is so true. I also will admit more than once I have wondered if the name Peanutopolis placed on the back of some of the packages is an actual place and if the cost of living is cheaper there. I've thought about searching on Mapquest but I think that might be taking it a little far!
Again just a proposal but alas it is time for another bite because it just keeps starring at me and screaming my name!
Your KING SIZE Snickers lover, addict and fat friend,
Friday, January 16, 2009
....taken Fall of 2008! Now Isaiah is three and Elijah was six. I thought the house was awfully quiet and went to see what was going on. You know there is trouble when OUR house is quiet! NOT this time! I found my three loves cuddled up asleep in my chair while attempting to watch a football game!
I love these moments!
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