NOT ME! MONDAY

Time again for some confessions or NOT!

Join in the fun hosted by MckMama

I did NOT almost flip out at the Wal-mart Pharmacy on Friday and realize why I never used them in the first place. I did NOT want to hop over the counter and strangle the ignorant teenager and pharmacist helping me or should I say NOT helping me at all and making a five minute stop turn into a 45 minute torture session and for making me late to pick up my son! I will stop there b/c that is a post all in itself.

I did NOT get overly excited when our basketball team won their game Saturday with a score of 18 to 1 then run to hug my boy after the game because he scored 10 of those 18 points!!! I was NOT proud at all!

I did NOT get out of helping my MIL move by claiming to NOT feel good then take a much needed 3 hour nap with a certain 3 yr old! I would never do that! IF you only knew my MIL, you would know why I did NOT do this!! The SAD fact is she was probably more than happy my children and I were NOT there!

I have NOT become a carb counting fool thanks to my hubs recent diabetes diagnose and I certainly have NOT eaten any and all sugar I can get MY hands on due to panic over his recent diagnosis. I certainly would NOT do this.....well at least NOT in front of him!! For instance, I so did NOT rationalize eating a bowl of ice cream at 11pm that is rarely even in our home by staying up until 1am! Because that would have made it ok ~ right?!

I did NOT tell Hubs our marriage could be hazardous to his health. I did NOT tell him we probably can't get his sugar down on the count that I am just too sweet. I did NOT get overly offended while he laughed!

I do NOT periodically burst out laughing at the thought of Hubs claiming his "thyroid" hurts while he is hunched over rubbing his THIGH! You guys have got to go read this one, seriously it is too funny to pass up!!

In a hurry to get things done around the house, I did NOT tell Zay he was ok and to stop crying when he was injured only to see his face and shirt covered in blood moments later. I did NOT feel like the worst Mom ever once I realized in an effort to help ME he had fallen on cement and his tooth had gone clear through his bottom lip which was now a VERY LARGE bottom lip with a giant hole! Nope NOT me b/c I always tend to his numerous uncontrollable whimpers that fill my days! Since he is a cry baby I have learned it is easier not to cater to every single cry! This would put a damper on your Mom of the Year nods for me so I am glad this did NOT happen!

I did NOT fail to file the many piles of bills nor have I sorted out the medical bills in order to do our taxes. I have NOT done this because I am a procrastinator but instead I am willing to blame it on my remarkably bad and busy week so NOW I will NOT get to go shopping this week! *sniff*sniff!

NOT ME! MONDAY

Time again for so go on over and see MckMama to join in the fun and read more fun Not Me! Monday posts!

• I did NOT almost lose my ever loving mind while the kids were out of school for three days this week!
• I did NOT get upset with the city Plowman and write a song for him that EVERYONE should read if only to see just how delusional I was!
• I did NOT for fun stop to ask MEN in their trucks that were stuck in the ice if they needed me to TOW them JUST BECAUSE I CAN! The looks on their hurt male ego faces did NOT make me laugh at all! I am that girl!!
• I did NOT waste an "I told you so!" moment when I found out Hubs had diabetes. I felt so bad for him that I just couldn't say it even though I had been telling him for 3 months that I thought he had diabetes. Upon leaving the doctor's office after the diagnosis, I certainly did NOT drive straight to the gas station to buy a KING SIZE Snickers in a panic attack at the thought of no more KING SIZE Snickers at my house!! I did NOT do that because that might mean I am addicted and need help!
• I am NOT at all upset that my Hubs has lost almost 30 lbs. without NO change in diet OR exercise! I am NOT jealous in any way because it only happened because he has diabetes and I truly do NOT want that! I do want the unexplained weight loss though!
• I do NOT type "thought" then back space to erase the "t" EVERY SINGLE TIME I am trying to type the word "though".......WITHOUT FAIL!! It does NOT drive me nuts at all!
• I did NOT take a picture of poop this week. That would be both gross and crazy BUT if I had it was merely because I was so amazed at a certain little 3 yr old girl's poop size that I thought her mother would not believe me unless I took a photo!! I was NOT at all scared to flush the toilet for fear of flooding my bathroom!
• I did NOT get corrected by a certain little 3 yr old little girl!!
• I did NOT get completely annoyed at Elijah's "friends" birthday party because I could NOT get a good picture to save my life because of the action AND the HORRIBLE lighting that EVERY SINGLE kids party place has. What is with that? It does NOT.....well ok YES it does......make me so angry to pay that much money for a party....enough money that they could get some good lighting after they host about 10 of those costly little boogers!
• I did NOT get to go see Baby Harper this week and think she was absolutely adorable!! I did NOT get to see her parent's joy as they held and fed her for the very first time then cry with my sister while watching!! You need to go to Kelly's Korner and have a looksie at Harper if you haven't already!!
• I did NOT go see Walking with the Dinosaurs Live with Elijah thinking I would be bored only to have an awesome time~ just me, my baby and some prehistoric reptiles on a Sunday afternoon!! I am NOT going to tell you that if the BBC showing of Walking with the Dinosaurs Live comes to your town or anywhere near you that you should GO, GO, GO!
• I did NOT leap for joy when I received a call that our basketball game this weekend had been cancelled since the weight of the ice caused a leak on the community center roof! I would NOT do that because I am team Mom and I love waking up early on Saturday mornings!

For more fun Not me! posts go here!

For more of MY not me's, go here!

Have a great week!

NOT ME! MONDAY

Come join MckMama and all her wolverine MckFriends for

Confession is good for the soul or NOT!

• I did NOT suck on the pump of a mini Windex bottle thinking it was my drink while blogging into the wee morning hours and eating a King Size Snickers.


• I did NOT cry because it snowed on my son's birthday. This was the only thing he prayed for and I was NOT a complete emotional wreck.


• During a MAJOR chocolate craving I did NOT rip the kitchen apart trying to find any form of chocolate only to find the leftover Halloween stash with just two bite size bars.....you know they would have been gone in 2 seconds flat if I actually DONE this!!


• I did NOT call our lawyer and completely flip out because Tez has lived with us for over a year and the child support payments are still coming out of Hubs checks. Tez's mother NEVER EVER gives us the money back and never pays us child support either. We had agreed we did NOT want child support from HER simply b/c we knew she wouldn't pay it but WHY ARE WE STILL PAYING HER!! Short of giving the lawyer another retainer to sue her for the money I bet we will never see it!!! I am at the point that I want him to quit his job just so the payments stop! Really we are paying for him to live here and never asked her to pay child support but then we are paying HER for a child she doesn't even have custody of or even a desire for regular visitation. I hate the dept in our state that handles child support.....they sit on their butts NOT doing a thing for anyone except themselves!! Half the people don't get child support at all and then there's us paying child support for a kid WE have custody of!!! HELLO CAN WE SAY IDIOTS?!?!?! Sorry did NOT plan on that one being so long but it ticks me off and once I get started...........
  
• I did NOT go to our new Dave and Busters and while I was rounding up the children, the rest of our crew waited at the door. I did NOT just about knock out some mouthy drunk woman. I was NOT standing there talking to my 7 yr old son and 14 yr old stepson when she pushed me into my son and into an arcade game on purpose yelling "EXCUSE YOU!" SERIOUSLY I WANTED TO KNOCK HER OUT AND I WON'T EVEN DENY IT!! If her friends would NOT have grabbed her and lead her off apologizing then she would have been lying on the floor. NO one I repeat NO adult is going to push me AND MY LITTLE BOY!!! Needless to say I have NO desire to return especially with children!!
  
• I did NOT attend a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese b/c I HATE that place with a passion! I then did NOT think anyone would be there because who still goes there so it wouldn't be that bad ONLY to arrive with a packed out crowd of loyal Chuck E. Cheese fans ~ I think I could actually feel my blood pressure rising and my claustrophobia taking control!

For more of MY NOT ME! MONDAYS, click HERE!!

NOT ME! MONDAY

Confession is good for the soul or NOT confessing as MckMama would say so here we go with another Not me! Monday!

• I do NOT laugh at the idea of how many MckFriends stay up late on Sunday nights hoping, praying, refreshing their screens at lightning speeds, and wondering if MckMama will post her Not me's! early and they can make the top 10. I am definitely NOT one of these MckMinions! I am NOT so tired I could fall asleep typing!

• I did NOT laugh when my husband tried to make my "secret recipe" lemonade and it tasted so bad that he dumped out his whole batch and begged ME to make it! Such a secret with the big bottle of lemon juice on the top shelf of the refrigerator and sugar canister on the countertop! I then did NOT laugh again as I saw him peeking around the corner trying to figure out the "secret recipe" as I made it and he thought I was putting some sort of alcohol into the batch when I was adding the lemon juice! Like I would allow my 3 yr old to drink lemonade with alcohol in it and like we even have alcohol in our refrigerator ~ wait we still have a bottle of something in there that our mortgage broker gave us when we bought the house 4 yrs ago!
• I did NOT while experimenting and making my own household cleaners dump baking soda into my concoction then spend half an hour cleaning up a mound of foam from the kitchen counter and sink! That would have been stupid so good thing I did NOT do that!
• I did NOT finally figure out the source of my months of back pain to be BLOGGER and my hunched over state while reading countless blogs THEN I did NOT decide instead of limiting my blog reading time that it is definitely time for a new computer desk, chair and bigger house for a computer/scrapbooking room.
• I did NOT regret instantly agreeing to a sleepover with Elijah's friend when asked then finally give up on any hopes of them falling asleep and go to bed at 1:30am while they were still awake! I did NOT want to drug them into a solid slumber at any point! Then I did NOT wish I had drugged them when they woke me up for breakfast at 7:30am! I definitely DID wish Elijah's hadn't inherited my insomnia!!
• I am NOT at all upset that absolutely no one has entered my first giveaway because I can keep the loot all to myself!!!
• I have NOT procrastinated to the point that I only have three days to plan a birthday celebration for Elijah! Nope NOT me because I never ever procrastinate! Guess what I will be doing tomorrow!
• I have NOT been at all ecstatic about my extra blog traffic and comments this week because blogging is a boring and mindless activity ~ NOT! Thanks my fellow bloggers!

For more of MY Not me! Mondays go here!

NOT ME! MONDAY

Thank God it is time for Not Me! Monday again and a little MckNote for MckMama ~ I understand you led a crazy couple of weeks with the holidays, traveling, sick MckKiddos and baby Stellan in the hospital but I think I was experiencing withdrawals and there is a lot of stuff I did NOT do SO I am so glad you are back!!

• I did NOT eat my cereal in my room in the comfort of my bed because I was freezing and wanted to be under the covers. I did NOT do this because this is against our house rules. NO EATING IN THE BEDROOMS! ALL food and drinks with the exception of sippy cups are to be kept in the living room or kitchen! That is the rule!
• Elijah did NOT catch me eating in my room and say, "Mommy, why can you eat in your room but we can't?" My response was NOT an affirmative, "Because I am an adult and I don't sp....(insert mental image of me getting out of bed with my cereal bowl half full of milk, tripping over a random toy in MY room, hopping around trying not to fall, stubbing my toe on the vacuum, falling flat on my face, milk flying through the air to land on my FACE, my floor and my walls) ...ill!" Elijah then did NOT laugh at me and say, "Um okay whatever you say Mommy!" and leave the room. I then did NOT say in a eat my words kind of way , "Elijah can you get Mommy a towel please!" His response with muffled giggling, "Sure did you spill something!" Of course this never happened because I would never break the house rule (in front of the children) especially since I created the rule!
• I had NOT already stubbed my toe twice on the vacuum THAT morning and after the third "spill" I think I broke the pinkie toe on my left foot! I really should NOT have left the vacuum there after the first time I stubbed my toe on it!! Hold on..........I had to go move the vacuum!
• I did NOT allow the kids to stay on New Year's Eve. I think Elijah thought something amazing was going to occur besides the ball drop!! He really said, "Is that it?" I then did NOT think about making midnight the weekend bedtime because I got to sleep in until 11am on New Years Day. Yes you read that correctly 11 am! This DEFINITELY does NOT HAPPEN in our house!!!
• In an effort to avoid crowds or because I was lazy , I did NOT wait until 5:34pm to leave the house to go shopping only to find out that the stores I needed to go to were closing at 6pm! NOT happy NOT happy at all! SO I then did NOT get mad and go to Wally World to get batteries and light bulbs then I did NOT wander around getting stuff for my Mean Green Giveaway and organizational stuff for the house. My kids closet is so clean now I wanted to sleep in there Friday night!! You really should go see it!! When I got home from Wally World, I definitely did NOT lose the bag of lightbulbs and batteries because that is the whole reason I did NOT go to Wally World. So I did NOT call to tell them! I then did NOT return to Wally World the next day only to wait in a LONG line of people to get a new set of lightbulbs and batteries for free since the cashier did NOT give me my bag! Upon getting more goodies out of the back of my car b/c it went on auto-pilot again to Hobby Lobby where I did NOT wander and buy 66% off Christmas stuff that I so desperately needed, I did NOT find the lost bag of lightbulbs and batteries b/c I had looked there earlier and they were NOT there. My friend said maybe the cashier realized I left them and followed me home to put them in my truck! So instead of me NOT losing them and NOT looking over them three times and NOT waiting in line to get a second set of the lost items ~ I'll just go with that theory!!
• I went with Hubs, my Mom and Dad to see the Harlem Globetrotters last night and upon seeing my parents attempting to stand and do the YMCA ~ I did NOT laugh so LLLLOOOONNNNGGGG AND HARD that I almost did NOT pee my pants, coughed, choked to the point I couldn't breathe and I most definitely did NOT drool on myself during the non-choking episode of the laughter! I do NOT wish I had a videotape of my parents very bad attempt at dancing to send into America's Funniest Home Videos but IF I did I am sure it would win something!!!
• I did NOT realize this weekend that I guess either NO ONE reads my blog or NO ONE wants to be a part of my very first giveaway! I have no problem keeping the prize however the realization was sad for me! I then did NOT think I was a freak at all for feeling this way about a BLOG giveaway! Please at least ONE of you needs to participate!
  
  
  
  
  

NOT ME! MONDAY

It's time once again for Not me! Monday! To admit or I guess NOT admit to anything you have done so join me, MckMama and all her MckFriends for Not me Monday!! Come on confession is good for the soul.....

• When the mechanic called about the Lemon saying he would fix two things then see if the truck was still overheating, I in NO way, shape or form said "Well if it catches on fire, don't put it out! Let that baby burn!" That would be stupid since I then figured out at 5:30pm on Friday that I forgot to pay our insurance!! Guess who is NOT on the phone with the insurance company and is NOTmeing (can that be a verb) instead of calling her insurance company......NOT ME!
• While having to wake up for many days last week at the butt crack of dawn to take the hubby to work because his piece of crap truck was in the shop again, (NOT bitter at all I tell you!) I did NOT think he should just quit his job because I should NEVER have to be up this early! Why would I think that? Seriously that is juvenile, stupid and selfish so it is a good thing I didn't think that!
• I did NOT skip NOT me! Monday last week because I was so far down the list that it just made me sad. I did NOT think I should seek professional help for being sad about missing Not me Monday instead I just bottled it all up inside like a good little girl should do! Not dependent on Not me confessionals at all!
• I did NOT say to my son "Why did you do that?" when he vomited all over himself and the floor at the doughnut shop on Friday. That would be inconsiderate. Hey I did NOT know if he was sick or if he had choked so that would've been my reasoning for asking that IF I in fact asked that before saying "Are you Ok?" I then did NOT want to flip out in the middle of the doughnut store when I asked the keeper of the "circular, fried, sugar coated fat makers" if she had something I could use to clean it up with assuming she would hand me a mop or towel of some sort and she said, "Sure, here have some napkins!". NAPKINS SERIOUSLY! And definitely NOT the thick absorbent kind but the tiny, thin ones the doughnut shop always has! I sure did NOT want to throw the stupid napkins at her head or leave and say clean it yourself because that would be irresponsible!! Ugh.....I will just leave it at that!
• I then did NOT get home and proceed to blog since Isaiah was acting normal. Since I would NOT be getting my to-dos of upwards a couple mill, I might as well blog clean, right!! Then while blogging attending to the sick boy he vomited again which finally told me he was sick! I then did NOT rub him down with Phenergen gel leftover from his surgery and pray he would crash so I could nap or blog clean the house!! And I definitely did NOT let him open a gift because I felt so bad for him and I did NOT say "don't tell anyone"!!
• I did NOT say to my friends when they asked if we were still going to the Christmas Train because of weather "Oh WE ARE GOING!" and then I thought it's NOT that cold! Holy cow! Watching the temp gauge on the car on just the ride there, it went from 34 to 15 within the hour ride. Ok so who wants to feel their appendages anyway! Fingers are entirely overrated! And I most certainly did NOT forget gloves for our family ~ that would be idiotic to say the least! Upon leaving the train at 10pm the temp gauge read 9! Yes 9 degrees and this didn't include the skin splitting wind chill factor! I am brilliant I tell you! I would never do any of that because I hate cold weather with a passion!

NOT ME! MONDAY

It's that time again, Yep you guessed it......come join MckMama and all her MckFriends for yet another Not me! Monday!!

• I have NOT checked on Isaiah multiple times per night to insure he is in fact breathing while he is sleeping because he no longer snores. A giant feat for this three yr old boy who has snored since birth.
• I am NOT secretly wondering if getting his tonsils out would in fact lower the volume on my husband's snoring and thinking about looking into it!! I am also NOT wondering if it would lower the volume on the dogs' snoring. You have NO idea how loud it can be when my husband, Samson the Boston Terrier and Moose the English Bulldog snore as one!!
• I did NOT implore my husband to "please drive more carefully and at least TRY to avoid nails!" after his third flat tire in the past 30 days. The reason I did NOT say this is because that would be silly and impossible!! Good thing I did NOT say that!
• When Elijah came home and told me he had spent a dollar of his own money on a charity drive at school for kids without toys, I did NOT want to shout from the roof tops, "I did it!! I raised a sensitive, sweet and charitable little boy!!" I just said, "Good job son I am SO proud of you! That was a really nice thing to do!" and then failed to tell him he had signed up to walk a mile in the cold for the charity. We'll climb that hurdle when we get to it!
• I have NOT looked forward to the Roller Derby for a week. Who would want to watch women get to push each other around while skating? Who would want to join a group of women like this? Who would want to take their frustrations out on unknowing strangers? NOT me!! Who then went to watch in amazement? Oh certainly NOT me!! Originally, I thought I will just lose weight then become a roller girl HOWEVER while I was NOT there, of course, I did NOT have passing thoughts like "Wow these are some pretty hefty girls I could lose just about 15 pounds and look better than some of them!!" NOT that I would ever think like that! NOT that I know if I could even skate now that I haven't skated in .......oh give or take twenty years! And the idea does NOT pop to mind so my hubby could NOT claim spousal abuse! lol
• I did NOT wonder while at the dentist under the influence of gas and numbing shots if I could possibly get some nitrous "to go"....you know to help me relax in times of stress. Oh NOT me....NOT me at all! Oh to feel the floating sensation and total relaxation again!
• I did NOT hope I would remember all my HILARIOUS thoughts while under said gas just so I could blog about them! That could mean I have a blogging addiction and that most definitely is NOT me! Right?
• I then did NOT go to my Mom's to pick up Zay after the appt and fall asleep so long that my stepson had to call to see IF I was going to pick him up from school. Yep, I am on my way! That would've been irresponsible of me so GOOD thing I did NOT do that! Good thing my Mom lives just a mile from his school in case I ever did do that!
• I am NOT ignoring my need to clean house and do laundry just so I can blog! No addiction here!!
• I did NOT want to take hubby up on his offer to look into the cost of a "reversal" just so we could try for a girl. Nope NOT me! That would be costly and insane! I think it could be considered more insane that he offered!
• I did NOT skip putting up the Christmas tree for yet another weekend because that could be a sign of procrastination and that is just NOT me!
• I did NOT sigh in relief after the fire jumped out of the fireplace yet again towards my head because I was fine only to find out an hour later the whole right side of my hair was in curly q's from being burned in said fire. Me and the fireplace get along too well for something like this to happen! I then did NOT spend 45 minutes cutting each individual curly q'd singed hair in tears at the outcome!!
• I did NOT secretly go to Hobby Lobby while on my way to another store. I do NOT have an addiction to all things Hobby Lobby. I am NOT the kind of girl who could just wander in Hobby Lobby for so long that they eventually announce they are closing and I get sad. Nope! I do NOT honestly believe my auto pilot car drives me there and then the auto pilot cart steers me "unwillingly" of course to the scrapbook supply area THEN to all other areas of the store. Is there a help group for this problem? NOT for me of course, but I do know a few other people with said problem.
• I did NOT get really excited, overwhelmed, ecstatic and think I could almost be famous after my 200 hits in one day from my last NOT me! NOPE NO blogging addiction here!! Not very many comments but hey the hits alone made me happy enough!
• I did NOT choke to death when my mother-in-law asked if I could go to lunch with her and my sister-in-law last Friday. Amazingly enough Sadly I was unable to join because of a dentist appointment but soon figured out later she probably just needed to give me her Christmas list. Seriously we've been together for 8 years and the woman has yet to invite me ANYWHERE so she must have wanted something to spend some quality time with me, right? NOT!! I am telling you all she needed to give me her list and that is it!! Don't get me started! NOT that I would go on and on when it comes to this topic!
• I know there is NO possible way I could be alone on this one....I do NOT want to scream to all my readers "FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW ME". Seriously that would be obsessive! I have two followers........WHAT IS WITH THAT?? NOT that it bothers me of course! lol
• Last but NOT least I was NOT over the moon ecstatic a little excited that MckMama revealed the strike through trick!
• I have NOT been to MckMama's page about a kazillion once or twice and refreshed to see if her Not me! list was posted AND while waiting for the screen to refresh I most certainly am NOT closing my eyes, saying "please be up, please be up" AS IF her posting predetermines my bed time!! NOT I can NOT go to bed without worrying about if I make the top ten! She's been posting shortly after midnight for the past few weeks so if I can hold out JUST a little longer surely she'll post soon, right?

Until next time America.............

NOT ME! MONDAY

It is time again for my new love Not Me! Monday started by MckMama! Enjoy!

• I am definitely NOT STILL driving around with my truck shoe polished from my son's championship football game and I am NOT using it again as one of my NOT me's b/c that would mean it is still on my truck after yet another week and it's NOT!
• I did NOT panic when after Zay's surgery the pain meds had an adverse effect and made him REALLY hyper. I did NOT call and ask for different medicine in hopes it might knock him out. I am NOT in shock b/c my son's surgery recovery has been uneventful to the point of him being his totally ornery normal self.
• I did NOT join the masses of crazed Black Friday shoppers because that would also mean I am a little crazy myself, right?@?!! I did NOT wake up at 4am thinking it was 2:30am because I am NOT a morning person so that fact in itself would verify my craziness!! I did NOT enjoy my Black Friday/Birthday shopping mainly because I was KID FREE!! I did NOT pull out unknowingly in front of my brother also shopping with the masses who then honked at me and I yelled "Ah get over it!". I then did NOT receive a phone call from said brother who realized he had just called his sister "a stupid winch" on her birthday because that would mean he recognized my car by the shoe polish that is NOT still on the truck!!! Oops good thing that did NOT happen! I did NOT want to man handle the idiots with three carts of stuff in the self checkout lane in Wal-mart thinking it would be faster for them to handle the checkout process on their own but in fact took longer b/c the workers had to come over to help about 200 times! No definitely did NOT want to do that because yet again that would make me a part of the crazy mass of shoppers ready to move onto the next store for a great deal!
• I then did NOT finish my Black Friday shopping, come home put on my pjs sleep until 1pm then stay in my pjs ALL day while doing absolutely nothing productive then retire in those same pjs!! Hey it was my Birthday so I had the right to do this or NOT do it!
• I did NOT go out to eat with the hubby and plan to go to the movies but when we were too late for the movie offer to just go home so he could watch the OU/OSU game! No NOT ME because I hate football, right?@?!! I then did NOT watch the game with him ~ well in between talking on the phone and texting. I did NOT eat tums before going out because that would in fact mean I am OLD! Dodododo......and I am NOT old!
• I have NOT let Isaiah ride his big wheel through the house this evening because that would go against my rule of NO riding toys in the house. Good thing he wasn't having a bad day and his throat was NOT bothering him to the point he would NOT eat b/c then me NOT letting him ride the big wheel would seem cruel! And NO he did NOT just bump into my leg with said big wheel b/c remember I am NOT letting him ride it in the house b/c of his NOT bad day!
• I did NOT fall asleep tonight while trying to finish Book It with Elijah b/c I am supermom and I finished his Book It requirements weeks ago! I would never procrastinate when my child's education is involved ~ NOT me ~ supermom remember!!
• I am NOT wishing I had brought home countless numbers of my niece's delish oatmeal/pnut butter/chocolate cookies to eat sitting beside my fireplace cuddled up with the kids who do not like the cookies therefore leaving more for momma!! I did NOT gobble til I wobbled on Thanksgiving. I did NOT in fact eat helpings of Turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, broccoli casserole, pasta salad, rolls, snickers salad, chocolate layered dessert and "the" cookies. I did NOT do this because then it might lend credibility to the fact that there might be reasons behind my over weight status BEYOND the idea that I got the bad overweight gene in my faulty DNA! Hmmm.....and that just could NOT be possible because it is so much easier to blame it on the DNA than to put the fork down and shut my mouth!! You know you all are laughing AND feeling the same way! Oooo I forgot the peach cobbler made by a guest at my in-laws dinner was so incredible that I did NOT want to secretly place it under my shirt and run for the hills!! If only it was in a smaller pan! I did however get the recipe and IT IS EASYYYYY!!!!
• I am NOT preparing my NOT me's! early in hopes of being on top of the list again because that would mean my "liking" Not me! Monday is now on the verge of obsession. Obsessed.......NOT ME! I will NOT be checking MckMama's page frequently in anticipation of her NOT ME! post~ again that would verge on obsession!

NOT ME! MONDAY

Time again for Not me! Monday and I have been away from blogger for a couple of weeks so here I am world take me as I am or am NOT!!

So just a few moments ago I certainly did NOT almost pee my pants when I noticed MckMama had already posted her Not me! Monday post and I actually have a chance to be in the top ten!! Holy crap! Yes for those of you who didn't know this God made crap! MckNugget just likes to play with it or even search for it I guess! Sorry just had to add that! Right there with you MckMama ~ Zay most certainly did NOT pull down his pants once and just poop in his closet!! Seriously though I definitely did NOT ever think I would even have a chance for the top 50 so this is huge or NOT huge for those of you who don't really care!!

I did NOT go to the doctor and secretly wish I had the ability to hack up a big loogie and spit on him when he said, "Wow you definitely got something going on in your nose it is disgusting!" as he shoved instruments in my mouth, up my nose and in my ear. Definitely NOT b/c that would be disgusting! Isn't that the entire reason I went to the doctor b/c my nose was disgusting ~ I did NOT need him to tell me that ~ just fix it!

I did NOT cut Zay's hair tonight and cut my finger open b/c I am a pro, right! I then did NOT laugh hysterically as my son cried in despair thinking I had cut his ear off after my countless warnings to sit still and the sight of blood running down his ear and my hand. Nope b/c that would NOT be sympathetic to his 3yr old fears!

I have NOT been driving around in my still shoe polished car three weeks after my son's football championship game. Nope NOT me! I love to wash my car! NOT!

I was NOT deleting old text messages from my phone when I did NOT laugh out loud literally reading a text that said, "When Elijah plays for the Dallas Cowboys are you gonna shoe polish your car?" I did laugh at the response I currently thought of ~ "NO I will have hired help to shoe polish the car and my driver hired by my son can wash it off himself three weeks later!!" I will admit I still do NOT have a clue about football other than I love to watch him play and if HE wants to pursue it as a career in the NFL I will NOT turn down gifts like large homes and cars with drivers!!

I did NOT want to yell out "Are you kidding me??!" when the doctors decided Zay's surgery couldn't wait until Dec 9th because his throat is closing faster than originally thought but told me to watch him while sleeping over the next WEEK!! Sleep ~ what's that!! I'll never sleep now until the surgery is over tomorrow!! I will NOT! His throat is closing faster but hey let's still wait a week! Let's NOT and just say we did!!

I am definitely NOT in any way shape or form awake AND blogging at 1:19am to be in the top ten or even twenty when I have to be up at 5:30am to have my son to the hospital and I am NOT about to go check on him for the 50th time in the past 4 hours! NOT neurotic at all I tell you!!

NOT ME! MONDAY

It's that time of the week again........time for........

First of all I did not skip ALL football practices this week....Monday, Tuesday and Thursday!! Not me b/c I love football so much I wish we could practice everyday. Rest is overrated! I would never do that b/c I am a grade A football mom. I normally try to go to at least one a week BUT I did NOT feel it!!

I did NOT want to kick myself in the head for volunteering for crap ALL the time! Volunteering is good, RIGHT? Even if you are so dead tired you CAN'T sleep and you just want to cry! I need to learn to say NO to those who never lift a finger of their own!!

I did NOT drive Chaitra and Addison to see her stepdad for a doctor's appt about an hour away and then almost fall asleep several times on the way home. Nope NOT ME! That would be irresponsible. The car was NOT so peaceful with Chaitra, Addison and Isaiah all sound asleep and the radio was NOT so quiet that I had to concentrate to even hear a thing. I did NOT need to blast the radio and sing at the top of my lungs to keep myself awake b/c that would've woke everyone up and I was NOT sleepy, remember. I did NOT want to blast COLD air on my face and make the car an iceberg b/c then the children might get too cold. I did NOT drift into another lane b/c I'VE NEVER DONE THAT! If I had done any of this, that would give my husband something to finally make me shut up about him falling asleep and almost killing our whole family last summer....good thing this did NOT happen, huh, I would hate for him to have ammo!

I did NOT voluntarily watch extra football games on Saturday. I did NOT do this b/c I am not "footbally" remember!! Then when the only team that has beat us this season was SERIOUSLY getting their butts kicked in a playoff game I was NOT one bit happy that the cheating, non-rule abiding, mean-to-his-team, hat throwing Coach was flipping out. He then tried to say, "Oh my quarterback got hurt!" when people started to say things to HIM not his team. I guess he never learned that one player does not make a team! At this lame attempt to make an excuse for his serious loss I certainly did NOT yell out "SURE IS ALOT HARDER TO WIN WHEN YOU HAVE TO PLAY BY THE RULES, HUH! KARMA! THANKS REFS!" while standing only about 40ft from him. Good thing I did NOT do this huh b/c that could be construed as sarcastic and vendictive.....but NICE!! I think he did NOT like that I did NOT call him out!

I did NOT lose my stomach when coaches who were scouting our team during our playoff game said they had to watch #1 and #10 on BA Gold. #10 is my son!! I think we should switch up the jerseys so my boy can incognito!! However I would NOT do that!

I did NOT once again take 5 gazillion pictures at the football game! Did I mention we won our first playoff game 32 to ZIP!? Our boys are monsters!

We certainly did NOT go out to eat once this weekend b/c that would've broke our pact NOT to eat out. We also did NOT go out to eat once last weekend. Nope NOT us! Saving money here! We always turn down invitations to eat out with friends b/c we are NOT eating out anymore!!

I did NOT unknowingly sniff the "butt scratching" hand of my three year old. I think that should actually say I WISH I had NOT smelled it!!

NOT ME! MONDAY

I did NOT secretly wish Chaitra's husband would be afraid of passing out due to the sight of blood during her c-section then chicken out so I could go into the room with her! NOT ME!

I did NOT laugh hysterically while my husband was talking about the poor Mom who was stuck with Denis at the zoo field trip Friday while I was at the hospital b/c that would be inconsiderate! I also did NOT laugh when he was telling me she got scared of the bats and ran out of the building leaving Denis behind!

I did NOT wish I hadn't volunteered to coach my son's basketball team with my husband.

I did NOT run screaming "That's MY boy!" while my son was running an 80 yd touchdown at his football game this weekend b/c then the crowd could feel the earth move under their feet.

I did NOT wish my son didn't play football when I was sitting in the freezing cold wind during a scrimmage ~ indoor sports would be good!

I did NOT hold Addy yesterday for hours while Chai napped b/c that would've gone against her wishes and might "spoil" her!! Go take a look at little Addy and see that their is NO way I would do that even if her Mom didn't know!

I did NOT go to Target this week...NO certainly NOT b/c then I would have broken my word. Good thing I did NOT do that!! You could read the blog about me not doing that and how good it felt!!

I did NOT get lost at the Halloween festival and search for my group who had my children and I hoped my husband. I did NOT start to tear up when I found my husband with only one of our two children. I did NOT call my friends multiple times while starting to panic and lose my breath. NOPE I remained oh so calm! NOT!!

I did NOT procrastinate going into work on Thursday for some alone time with the hubs!

I did NOT secretly call to see how much it would cost to have someone come clean my house for me b/c I am the best homemaker and do NOT need outside help. I am NOT thinking of having them come some Friday while I am off and then I certainly am NOT planning on taking all the credit for how clean the house will be. I would NEVER steal their thunder and lie!!

I did NOT regret sending my hubby to the grocery store b/c it was so helpful!

I did NOT regret being helpful and painting Chai's nursery last Sunday b/c my arms were so sore the next day it hurt to straighten my hair. Good thing because then that might mean I am out of shape and I certainly am NOT!

NOT ME! MONDAY

Joining the Not Me! Monday bloggers and hopefully I can figure out the rules of posting! Wish me luck! Not Me! was started by MckMama on her blog My Charming Kids. She is funny to me and probably one of the few people who like me has blogged about....dodododo.....circumcision!! Although our experiences are quite different most people keep stuff like that to themselves, NOT ME!!

Here we go:

Thursday at a birthday party I did NOT want to scream, "Take your kids and run for their lives!!" when a little girl puked about 2 feet from both of my children and all of the others sitting at the table because that would've been inconsiderate, right?!

I definitely did NOT secretly leave work early since my boss was home sick and I had to go to the above mentioned birthday party.....nope NOT ME!!

I did NOT lie and say my husband forgot to bring the gift to the party since he dropped the kiddos off. I would NEVER do that! She had SO many presents though she didn't even notice. I then also did NOT lie again by saying I would save it for her ACTUAL birthday which was two days later!! (Ok I feel like crap but the party was bumped up two days and in the middle of the day while I had to work so I had NO time to get a last minute gift!)

Friday I did NOT sleep in at all costs since they were on fall break and I was off. In fact I certainly did NOT allow them to eat cheese whale crackers for breakfast just so I would NOT have to get out of bed b/c that would totally go against my "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" montra that I have taught aka drilled into them since birth!!

Friday I did NOT even think about conveniently "forgetting" a birthday party so I wouldn't have to go to Pump It Up for the second day in a row. Good thing I did NOT do that because I had a really good time with my football Moms!

I did NOT laugh outloud when Chai's Dad and Sebina argued calmly over how to put the crib together.

I did NOT laugh outloud AND I did NOT secretly take a picture of Chai's Dad Tim and her Stepdad Mike who fumbled around like a bird in a beehive trying to figure out how to get the pack 'n play to collapse so they could fit it through the bedroom door since they put it together BEFORE moving it into the room!! And I definitely did NOT love watching them and listening to them chatter back and forth while never lending a hand ~ hey I couldn't remember I was NOT secretly taking pictures!

I am certainly NOT jealous of my friend and my cousin who are expecting baby girls! I do NOT secretly wish I could take my husband's offer to reverse his vasectomy and NOT feel bad in hopes we could have a baby girl. I do NOT wish I never would have convinced him to have the vasectomy in the first place. And I do NOT wish the doctors messed up and maybe JUST maybe his vasectomy won't work!! NOT ME!!!