ZAY LOST HIS FIRST TOOTH!

I seriously can't believe how fast Isaiah is growing.  Started kindergarten.....sniff sniff.........started sports.......whimper........lost his first tooth......wipes tear rolling down cheek!  I swear he is aging at lightning speed while I have managed to stay 29 for going on 6 years.  What gives!

Isaiah first loose tooth seemed loose for forever.  Loose teeth make me gag and pulling them can make me gag to the point of vomiting.  That is just so gross!  This tooth was really really loose and bending forward...gag....gag.....I mean literally hanging by a thread of whatever teeth hang by....gag!  He came to show me one evening and well truthfully I gagged then told him to show Daddy.  He went to show Daddy and well panicked.  Daddy's hand came up as though he might pull the tooth.  Hubs reassured him he just wanted to feel it and he did.  Isaiah went screaming down the hall, "DON'T TOUCH IT!  I DON'T WANT YOU TO PULL IT!"  He went running into the bathroom and while he was gone Hubs just smiled at me from the couch holding the tooth between his two fingers. 

Isaiah comes storming back into the living room saying, "Hey Daddy, did you pull my tooth because I think I really lost it and I can't find it?!?"  He was shocked as was I that it did not hurt when Hubs pulled it and he did not cry!  Serious milestone since the kid cries over EVERY. SINGLE. LITTLE. TINY. MINUTE. THING!  UGH!  Love the boy but seriously he is a cry baby such a joy! Hubs was just shocked he got it on the first try and without any tears, blood or serious Toys R Us bribing like he did when Elijah lost his first tooth.  Then we get to the part where he calls everyone in the family to alert them of his lost tooth and the whole story mainly to stall the whole bedtime routine.  Bedtime routines will probably be the death of me if the morning routine doesn't kill me first! Oh the joys of motherhood!  Papa alerted Zay to the fact that Elijah got $10 from the toothfairy when he lost his first tooth so of course I had to roundup $10.....thankyouverymuchDad!

So after putting him to bed about five times I finally told him, "You better get to bed or the toothfairy can't come."

He replied with, "Leave the light on!  Daddy will you lay with me?"

I questioned his reason for wanting the light on and wanting Daddy to lay with him and he answered with,
"I don't want some strange person coming into my room, reaching under my pillow and stealing my tooth!  That is scary!"

PORKS, OF COURSE!

Elijah is still obsessed with all things nature and history.  He still watches National Geographic, Discovery Channel, the History channel and Animal Planet like they are all that is on but I am just fine with that.  His new thing is to find random facts then tell us all as if he has THE most important thing to say.

A few weeks ago he comes running down the hallway screaming my name.  Of course, I run to him since he was screaming as though he lost a limb and this is the mini fact convo we had:

Elijah, "Mom, did you know that makeup is made of 50% pork oil?"

Moi, "No!  Did you know mascara is made of bat poop?" 

I won!  He was grossed out and speechless!  Not really sure if mine was fact or myth but frankly I don't care since I am a mascara addict and will continue the use even if it means I am obsessed with rubbing bat poop all over my eyelashes!

Then......

Elijah went to his friend's house the other day.  Elijah decides he is going to "freak out" Mindy, his friend's mom, and shares his little fact.

Elijah, "Did you know the makeup you wear is 50% pork oil?

Mindy, "No, I didn't know that but do you know where pork oil comes from?"

Elijah, "Of course..... PORKS!"

NOW in my sons defense....he doesn't eat "pork" remember so he doesn't realize pork is from pigs!  I am surprised he didn't answer with chicken!  EVERY meat is chicken in my boys' worlds!  If I make beef, pork chops, roast or ribs and called them by their actual names, then my kiddos would turn their little noses and say they don't like it.  Soooooo when Elijah was little I just renamed ALL meat to chicken.  My kids could be eating country style boneless pork ribs and say, "Oooo momma these chicken ribs are good!"  If I said I was making "country style boneless pork ribs" it would be a war to get them to try them so I only make chicken pork chops etc....wink*wink* 

Oh how I love my funny fact finder boy!

AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS REMEMBER TO BRUSH THEIR TEETH?

I constantly have to remind Elijah to brush his teeth.

This drives me nuts. You know what makes me even more nuts......having to remind Tez who is 15!! Where was I?

I know, I know Elijah is only seven but to me brushing his teeth should already be an everyday routine!

The other night after getting out of the tub and me slatheringly with his pet peeve dodododo.......lotion........I got a big smile from my handsome little love to which I said, "You really need to brush your teeth! They look nasty!"

He quickly says, "Let me see!" and smiles into the mirror. "They don't look nasty to me!"

I respond with, "Your teeth are supposed to be white NOT yellow!"

His great comeback, "OOOH!"

I guess this is yet another reminder of the "joys of motherhood"!!

DISTURBING UPDATE ON THE NEW NEIGHBORS

Just moments after my "Dear New Neighbors" post the drama really began! I told the boys we needed to go inside. Elijah had to go down the street since the "new" boy had taken his bicycles pegs for his own bike and I was busy telling Isaiah to get his camera (toy ~ starting him young) from the "new" four yr old girl. Did I mention that everything in that post happened in the past 6 days? Wow! SO......the girl would not give Zay his camera and I told her she had to give it back b/c we were going inside for the night. Elijah couldn't find his pegs since the boy had left his bike at another neighbor's house. Then some other drama with the "old" trouble maker neighbor kids, their mother (and I use that term very very loosely since she only has custody of her latest two kids and the prior 4 are with her Grandmother and Sister) and the "nice boys" parents drew quite a scene. Apparently, the "nice boys" dog bite the youngest of the troublemakers who then ripped her hand away from the dog tearing the skin off of her finger. The trouble makers Grandmother and Mother went storming, yelling and screaming about calling the pound, the dog having rabies and the dog being put down. The "nice boys" parents trying to explain the situation. My question is why was THAT 4 yr old girl in their house to begin with when the kids were in front of my house. Sadly, the girl probably did something to provoke the bite but I was not there so I don't really know! She is the youngest of the "trouble makers" so your guess is as good as mine! I finally get the boys and all of their toys into the house. Then after pulling a tick off of Elijah (I really wish I could keep him out of all the trees) and all the drama that brought, I took them in for a shower when low and behold the "new" 4 yr old girl is using our bathroom. Freaking stalker!! Why she was in MY house ALONE I'll never know?

Showers done, tick burned and pajamas on!

Silence!

Beating on the front starts!

Imagine that since usually they don't even knock!

They ask to come in. I politely say no since the boys are ready for bed about to eat and going to bed. They ask if they can come out and sit on the porch. Again, I politely say no. The little girl says, "Why?" in an extremely rude manner. I said, "Well because I am their Mom, they are in for the night and I said NO!" while trying to keep my cool!

Hubs finally makes it home after a long work day since it is his on-call week. I was laying on my bed talking on the phone to my Mother. I was enjoying the quiet as the boys told Daddy about their day. Suddenly, I started to hear noises either on the roof or on the side of the house. I asked Martez to see if someone was on the roof or on the side and he quickly said no as if I was crazy. I went out front to look when I could hear the dogs freaking out on the side of the house. I peak through the fence to see the "new" boy teasing the dogs. The dogs were freaking out and I thought Moose was going to have a heart attack. WAIT........did I mention in the first post that "somehow" Moose started spontaneously bleeding earlier when the boy was in the backyard? If not, well that happened earlier in the evening but no one knows why. Sounds a little fishy to me! Did I also mention that the new boy gave Moose two 4 qt bowls of water? You don't give Moose large quantities of water b/c he will drink it down to the last drop in minutes. Weeellllll, Moose drank all 8 qts then proceeded to walk into the house and vomit! NICE! Anywhoochie, (like that Shan I used your word) I told the boy to stop teasing the dogs and to go home. He proceeded to argue with me at which point I said, "Stop teasing him before he bites you!" He quit! I walked in and asked why they were in the yard. Hubs said, "They asked to come in when I was walking in and I said sure." I said sternly, "They NEED TO GO HOME! I have been dealing with them all afternoon and evening and I am done! They need to leave before someone gets hurt! I told them NO three times so why did they even ask you!"

I felt sorry for Hubs since at the time he had no clue about the "drama" and proceeded to go back out front to cool off! While getting off the phone with my Mother all of the sudden the boy appears and starts to run. He had climbed our fence and jumped the gate to get out. I told him to not climb our fence or jump our gate again because he could get hurt at which time we both hear "I'm hurt" screams and I told him to get his little sister and go home. Take into account this conversation just lasted seconds. NOW Elijah KNOWS not to climb the gate or fence but he did. Once the kid got over he then tried to scare Elijah and pushed Elijah who then fell and busted a tooth, his top lip, bottom lip, skinned his knee and cut his hand. Now I completely understand Elijah made the decision to climb the fence on his own but I am 100% sure he did not plan on getting pushed and this is probably the reason the boy was trying to run home so fast! I was ticked! We have an 8 foot fence and Elijah could have been seriously injured!

After calming Elijah down and tending to wounds, I proceeded to tell Martez everything that had happened today. I was saying this, that and the other when Isaiah chimed in with, "Yeah and when Shelby was in my woom. She told me to take my pants down!" Instantly, we both said WHAT! My insides turned and my heart was racing but I tried to repeat in my head "kids that age are curious, kids that age are curious". He proceeded with his little story........"yea she said, "take your pants down" and I said, "No!" She said, "Take your pants down!" and I said "No I will get in trouble and that will make my Mommy mad!" Then she said, "Take your pants down so I can take your picture!"

Even typing this makes me want to puke! Ugh! We then proceeded to calmly ask him questions. Apparently he did not take his pants down and neither did she BUT........ugh! Earlier in the evening while they were in the room, I caught her peeking around the corner and asked what she was doing even though I could see into about half of the room at the time. She said, "nothing!" then proceeded to go into the room and shut the door. I quickly said, "Open the door! We don't shut the doors!" A minute or two later they were going into the closet and I was uncomfortable with her need to hide since hiding often means trouble so I said we all needed to go outside.

Back to the story........Isaiah asked if he was in trouble and I said, "NO but you don't take your pants down for anyone! If it isn't Mommy, Daddy, Meme or Papa, then your pants should not be down. Your teachers, family and Mommy and Daddy's friends can button your pants after you go potty but they shouldn't need to take your pants down. Never ever let anyone touch you or take your picture naked! If someone asks you to or tries to, then you need to scream and tell Mommy and Daddy! How do you explain this to an almost four year old little boy? I tried my best. My heart was racing. My palms were sweating and I felt like I could puke. I went to find his camera and found nothing except she did climb their dresser. I called my Mom all shaking and upset who then said I needed to call someone. Then Shan and Chai called and they both said the same thing. I KNOW kids are curious at that age even though that makes me uncomfortable at times. BUT why would a four year old little girl tell him to take his pants down SO SHE COULD TAKE A PICTURE!!! What does she know about that? Why would she want a picture? On his camera? Why? To me unless she has experienced a nude photo then there is NO reason and that is beyond curiosity!!! For a four year old to actually say, "Take your pants down so I can take your picture", in my mind, says that someone has said that same thing to them. What do I do? Do I talk to the parents? Would that cause more trouble for the kids? Would they say he is lying? Would she change the story? Am I making too much of this? We in ABSOLUTELY NO way brought anything of this topic up. He interrupted our story to tell us his and he had no idea how troubling it would be for us. This story would never have crossed my mind. I should not have to explain things like this to him yet! I don't live in a bad neighborhood and I don't subject my children to questionable people so why do I have to explain this now! I know that it doesn't have to be a stranger and in fact it is normally someone they are close to but again why do I have to explain this now!?!?!?!? Do I call CPS? DHS? Police? Save her? Mistakenly accuse the family of things that may not be happening? Maybe she saw it on TV? Why would she be watching something like that? Well they are irresponsible parents after all! Is it my job to tell? Would I be saving her or tearing apart a family with a false accusation? In my mind, something has happened to her or why would she even want to take a nude photo? Can this backfire somehow? I need to move! My mind just won't stop! That house has been for sale for well over a year ~ why did they have to buy it??

LET'S DISCUSS WHAT SUCKS!

So I feel awful and I am going to give my view on what sucks!

Being an allergy sufferer who ran out of her medicine and failed to get more because she thought "oh I'll be ok for a few days"

when a few days turned into two weeks then

BAM

stupid indecisive Oklahoma weather decides to

be hot,

be cold,

be rainy,

be hot,

be cold,

be windy,

be rainy,

throw in 10in of snow,

be hot the next day so the snow all melts,

then decide to rain,

then be chilly

be warm again,

.........play with all of the allergy suffering residents!!

WHY

didn't I go get more allergy medicine?

Since I can't sleep because of my inability to breathe, I decided to look up some things. Although I always knew Oklahoma is not a good state to live in if you are an allergy sufferer, I didn't realize how bad my state and even my CITY were for allergies. At first all I could find was statistics from 1999 saying Tulsa ranked #7 out of the 100 worst cities for spring allergy sufferers. Then I came upon 2002 statistics saying we had improved and were then ranked as #17. Whew, what an improvement! (I hope you feel the sarcasm!) Then I found horrible 2007 statistics and I wanted to pack up my family and move far far away!

In 2007, Tulsa, Oklahoma was the #1 worst city for spring allergy sufferers!

I live there!

Holy cow!

Luckily by 2008, we were way down to #19 out of 100 of the worst cities!

The AAFA (Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America) has yet to release the 2009 statistics for the 100 Worst Cities for Spring Allergy Sufferers; however, they have released the worst 5 and Tulsa is not on that list.

Whew!

Six or below is our goal!!! hahahahahaha ~ sadly that was probably only funny to me!!

Do you know how many cities there are in the US?

Wait for it.......

.....wait for it.....

That's too bad I don't either!

I bet you totally thought I had the answer!

I did try to look that up too but couldn't find it. Granted I didn't look too long since I became frustrated. They all went into how places are classified as cities, towns and counties and how different states use different methods so it is hard to get a count of actual "cities" and blah blah blah.......SEE why I didn't look too long!

The point is why as an allergy sufferer do I even live in a place that makes it onto the 100 Worst Cities for Spring Allergies list in the first place.

Hundreds of thousands of cities in this country and I pick one of the 100 worst for allergies ~ idiot I tell you and not even the bottom hundred at that!

WHY?

All because I wanted my boys to grow up near their Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins!

Or just pure insanity and fear of change!

Take your pick!

Now onto what else sucks since I just happen to be making a list.....

not breathing through your nose, the nose congestion traveling from one nostril to the other taking turns blocking one completely at all times, blowing your nose and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EVER comes out, ear popping, throat pain but only if and when you swallow, not breathing through your mouth, gland pain, not breathing through your nose, eye pain, watering eyes, sneezing, itchy throat, headache, not breathing through your nose.................

Did I leave anything out?

Oh yes I did.......

gargling salt water *gag*gag* you can't even begin to *gag*gag* imagine how much I hate *gag*gag the taste of salt water so you know I was desperate, no sleep for days, warm cloths over your face while giving yourself a facial rub since according to the stupid liar of a nurse "it will work wonders" ~ LIAR ~, then sleeping for 15-20 minutes at a time, nasal congestion, Neil Med nasal rinse especially if you fail to read the instructions COMPLETELY before use (THIS ONE is a post all on its own!), nose spray that just drips out or runs down the back of your throat, not breathing through your nose, medicine that makes you feel like you wiped the inside of your mouth with a giant freaking cottonball and no amount of liquid seems to make this side effect go away, have I mentioned nose congestion and throat pain yet, drinking excessive amounts of liquids to cure the cotton mouth only to get up to pee every five minutes, putting a blanket on because you are freezing then fall asleep and wake up sweating, not breathing through your nose.....................

I think that might be it.......

NO WAIT you didn't really think I was done did you.......

.......Let's add ~ getting said allergy medication to be taken every 24 hrs then accidentally taking one at 5:30pm then one at 9:30pm on the same evening.

What was I to do after swallowing the second one and realizing my mistake?

It isn't like I could puke up just one of them. If I thought I had dry mouth before, then I was sadly mistaken. You would think I spent days in the freaking Sahara. I thought I was going to rig a line of tubing from the refrigerator water dispenser to my mouth or go get an IV of fluids put in! Then I laid in bed wondering since I was awake from not being able to breathe through my nose and all if I would notice side effects from taking too much medicine or if I would just die in my sleep. Those are always comforting thoughts while you are lying there going insane from not being able to breathe through your nose. Had I mentioned that yet?

Now I am done!

APRIL FOOL'S!

Crazy bloggy friends I'm not done ~ it was all true I'm just not done yet!

You know what is worse when you are feeling down with all of this??

Hmmm.......

....now let's stay on track with giving me all of your pity and not elaborate on how good my life is and I should be glad to even be breathing although not through my nose.......

.....let's pretend I am the center of attention here.......

Now what could you add to all of this to make it worse.......

Diarrhea from antibiotics and pink eye......YEP.......I am lovin' my world right now!

Now you want to know what sucks the most.......

I have pink eye in BOTH EYES on top of all the other crap!!!

Needless to say I have been looking pretty hot around here lately!

Moral to the story ~ If I want to continue to live in Oklahoma and breathe through my nose, then I should not run out of daily allergy medicine and never ever ever skip a day for any reason whatsoever.....EVER!!!

Why when I put spaces in between sections where I WANT THEM does blogger erase the spaces when I publish? It never USED to do this!!

FRIDAY HIGH FIVE

Time for Friday High Five!

Come join in the fun....please!

Make a list of 5 things ~ ANY five things you want! 5 favorite things, Top 5 Vacation spots, 5 most embarrassing moments, 5 favorite pics, 5 reasons to not pick your nose......A LIST OF ANYTHING YOU WANT IT TO BE!

To see my Friday High Five posts for examples, click here!

Post about it, linking back to me then sign Mr. Linky!

Please use the Friday High Five URL post in Mr. Linky's URL section instead of your blog URL and here is how: write the post, publish the post, go to edit posts, VIEW the High Five post, copy the URL in the address portion at the top of the screen then paste it in the URL section of Mr.Linky!!

Sounds complicated but it isn't too bad! If you need help, let me know in the comment section! Go view all the other High Five posts (IF anyone joins!) and comment away!

Have fun!

TOP 5 RECENT FUNNY CONVERSATIONS

5. The call from Chai about her showing up naked in the middle of the night due to Ambien must be mentioned again since I laugh each time I even think of it!

4. Shan called to see if I could pick Quin up from school and keep her for the evening while she renewed her CPR certification. My answer, "Well has she pooped lately b/c I don't know if our toilet could handle anymore of HER poop?" Her answer, "Well she dropped a pretty big log yesterday so she should be good!" My response was "was it picture worthy"! Hold on....laughing.....still laughing......just trust me on this one it is a "you have to see it to believe it" moment when this girl poops! Sad though that we have to discuss her bowel movement schedule to decide if she can come play.....still laughing!

3. Talking to Shan again on the phone when she says, "Well I need to get off of here since I have to poop and there will probably be noises involved!" Enough said.....I laughed for quite some time! Can you be too honest? NOT US!

2. Erin, one of the basketball Moms, walks into the game with a new hairdo. She is now platinum blonde with purple underneath and a few purple strips. Sounds crazy but she is so cute that she can totally pull it off! So we all rant and rave over her hair when someone asks "Where did you get your hair done?" Not particularly a funny question but she is funny 24/7! Her answer at first was simply "Deuces". THEN she said you know "poops". Uh....NO! You get your hair done at a place called "poops"? She says, "You know like drop deuces ~ poops?!?" My answer, "I thought that meant twos or guns?!" Everyone is just looking at the two of us since we are laughing uncontrollably. She said, "Oh so that is probably why people look at me weird when I say I get my hair done at deuces ~ you know poops!" The really funny part is although NONE of US had ever heard this term "drop a deuce" I googled it and it in fact means to "pinch a loaf, take a dump or go number 2".......who knew? Not us! As you can see we value our highly stimulating conversations at basketball practices!!!!

This reminds me of a second conversation with Erin at another practice. It was a few days after Martez was diagnosed with diabetes. We were all talking about other people we knew with diabetes and the consequences of ignoring the disease. I mentioned how my childhood friend had lost her father a few years back. He finally passed away after having many fingers amputated, a kidney transplant then had to have both his legs amputated........WHEN.......Erin jumps in with "how much do you think my leg weighs? Hey if they chop one of my legs off I instantly lose 30 lbs...hmm.....I am a pretty good hopper!" Sick and sad esp since I knew the man but if you could have seen her face then showing us her hopping skills, you too would know she is funny!

#1

This was a texting conversation. My friend who is also my amazing hairstylist text me saying I really needed to meet her boyfriend. They had (had being the operative word here) been together for almost a year and I had yet to meet him. I teased her often that he was just imaginary and that she should seek mental help for carrying on the story for this long. She invites us to dinner and I respond with well since he is imaginary how are we going to do that. I also say you can very well bring your blow up doll. One that is sick and two it is highly embarrassing. Her response, "Tried it! It scared the kids and pooped when I....well that part is private!!" Highly confused and grossed out, I laughed it off and made some reference to the term "pinching a loaf" ONLY because I NEVER use that term AND b/c she hates that term to the point of vomiting. Now she was confused because she meant to say "it scared the kids and POPPED!!" and could not figure out what I was talking about! Still cracks me up though! She totally needs spell check on her phone!

Reading this post totally cracked me up and grossed me out once I figured out almost every one of them was about poop! Sorry about that! I guess we are a bunch of "potty mouths"! (I couldn't resist that one!)

TIDBITS OF IQ

Shandolynne received the latest notice of Elijah's party and I truly wanted Q there since Zay has been feeling like the third wheel with all of Elijah's play dates and sleepovers. Normally the boys play together but when Elijah has a friend over his same age Isaiah tends to feel left out! Boohoo for him! Shan needed to study for her first nursing exam so I said, "Bring her, drop her off at the party then she can come home with us and play with Zay so you can study plus he really misses her!" He really does miss his "dwirlfend" and we haven't seen her in quite some time. She started to cry after the party and she realized her Mommy was not coming to pick her up. Using Shan's tough love approach, I just told her to stop crying and get in the car! HEY it worked b/c she was fine after that!

We went out to eat since none of us had eaten the pizza or cake. Q......that girl is HI-LAR-I-OUS!! FIRST......

This girl can color but I hear it comes to girls quicker with the whole attention to details thing. She is only three and for the most part stays within the lines! I complimented her coloring which led to Zay needed compliments. Really the She heard me complimented his coloring and says, "Ummm it not pwetty! He scribbles!" He was saddened then saddened again each and every time she said, "he is scribbling again!" Yep, she told me over and over so I constantly had to reassure his dwindling toddler male ego!!

Quinlynne successfully learned to ignore Isaiah and to say the least he was NOT pleased. He must have tapped her arm and said, "HEY!" about fifty times before this:

Q calming turned to Zay and placed her hand on his and said, "MY name is not HEY! My name is Quinlynne!" and then slowly she looked him in the eyes and sounded out her name "QUIN-LYNNE!" There was no way anyone could hear or see this and NOT laugh and TRUST me I LAUGHED! The look on the faces of these two three yr olds was priceless ~ hers so sure and confident and his bewildered! Poor boy used a T for all K sounding words so he calls her Twinnen!

Then after Q called my name about 10 times I turned to her and said, "Yea!" She looks at me all serious and said, "Angie we don't say Yea, we say Yes!" Apparently her Grandy had been working with her on this little tidbit and you will be glad to know it sunk in!

We arrived home and I did not see or hear from the two of them for at least two hours when Q comes to me saying, "Angie, I pooped a big poopie in the big potty!" I replied with, "Good girl! Did you wipe your butt?" She quickly says, "No there was no toilet paper so it is in my panties." Nice....into the bathroom we go when I noticed the back of her pants and her shirt was all wet. My first thought was "great she has diarrhea"! Nope! What this girl did was definitely NOT diarrhea! This girl landed the biggest turd in human history. Honestly! I walked into the bathroom to find 3 kids staring in the toilet both grossed out and laughing. Not wanting her to get embarrassed I made them leave BUT when I saw the turd I too was amazed. I have never in ALL OF MY LIFE seen poop this size! UNREAL! I instantly called Shan to tell her and I even took a picture to email to her because I didn't think she would believe how enormous it was! AT LEAST A FOOT LONG plus there were many little ones at the bottom! I called Martez in for a viewing and he too was amazed! This wasn't just a large turd by three yr old standards but by human standards. Our Great Dane didn't even poop that big! She easily lost a good 5 pounds and I was scared to flush it! Although I couldn't spare you the fun of reading this tidbit, I will spare you from viewing the photos no matter how awe inspiring! Well I cleaned her up even though she had attempted to clean herself up first which is why her pants and shirt were soaked with water!

They were TOO cute together but then they always are! Shan and I call them IQ for Isaiah and Quinlynne and they crack us up. He loves her! We kid around that they are betrothed and laugh about them having grand kids for us only to torture themselves with their children's antics! Oh the thought of THEM having kids brings thoughts of SWEET REVENGE! She decided they were going to be Dora and Diego for the day and insisted they be called by those names. One time I had to crack up because he really called her "Woman!" I HATE THAT and quickly corrected him BUT I still had to laugh!

COFFEE WATER???

Chai calls one night to see if we want to go to El Chico. After thinking......ok ok I didn't think at all I just told Hubs and the boys to get their shoes on! We used to eat there ALL the time but recently not so much so we were more than happy to oblige her with our company!!

I am not a pop drinker.....for those of you going "Pop?" it is Soda, Soda Pop, Cola, carbonated sugar infested beverage......but I love me some good Pepsi! Since we do not buy pop in our house the only time I have it is when we are out to eat. I hate Coke so I always have to ask if they have Coke or Pepsi. Unfortunately, El Chico is a Coca Cola infested restaurant so I ordered tea. This was the first mistake! The tea comes to the table and I put one Splenda....ok ok I'm lying.....I put about 3 Sweet 'n Lows and took a big 'ol swig..........

.......I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO VOMIT AND SPEW THE NASTINESS ALL OVER MY BOYS ACROSS THE TABLE......

I said to Chai, "Wow that is nasty! Taste it!"

Chai laughs at me because I just did one of my own pet peeves! I crack up when people say O that is nasty....taste it, smell it or whatever....! HELLO! Why exactly do I want to do that if it is nasty?!?!?!

So what did I do but made mistake number 2...........

....yep took ANOTHER drink to be sure I wasn't hallucinating!

*gag*gag*gag*gag*gag*gag*gag*gag

That is about how many times I gagged after the second swig!

Why I took the second drink I am unsure other than the coffee taste I abhor made my decision making process totally malfunction!!

It tasted like really really really weak coffee but it had the distinctive taste of coffee and THAT my friends I was sure off! I hate coffee! I have tried many different kinds of coffee with many different flavorings and additives and I cannot stand coffee! I tell the waitress, "I am not sure what exactly this is but it definitely is NOT tea! It tastes like it has coffee in it!"

The waitress returns with TEA then says, "I grabbed the wrong pitcher because apparently they put coffee water into a tea pitcher! I am really sorry about that!"

Coffee water?

I don't know what this is or if I even want to know!

Water from cleaning the coffee maker?

Ugh......I don't even want to know!

IF BY CHANCE YOU KNOW WHAT COFFEE WATER IS AND IT IS A GROSS ANSWER, PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT AND TELL ME BECAUSE REMEMBER I HAVE AN EASILY TRIGGERED GAG REFLEX AND I TOOK TWO BIG 'OL SWIGS OF THE NASTINESS!!

FYI

Did I ever tell you guys a while back my Mom and Dad took my oldest nephew Tyler to Wendy's and he had a FLY inside his hamburger? The staff asked if he wanted a new one!! Umm......no thanks, I like my burger insect free!! Weird thing that Wendy's shut down not too long after that incident. Makes you wonder how many other burgers had flies inside and the customers never knew?!?!?