OUR JOURNEY THROUGH SWIMMING LESSONS

So last year Elijah completed level 1 and took level 2 for the first time but did not graduate. This year I enrolled Elijah in Level 2 again and in anticipation that he would breeze through it, I also enrolled him in Level 3 immediately in the next session. Isaiah was going to be a different story. I figured he not want to go under, not want water on his face and not want water in his ears SO he was enrolled in a parent/child class then afterwards a preschool class on his own!

WOW WERE MY ASSUMPTIONS WRONG!

Isaiah did so much better than I ever would have imagined and is turning into a little fish! The first two days he did not want to go "under" which wasn't a problem since this had not even been approached yet. He did good and was happy his betrothed Quinlynne was in his class; however, he did NOT want water in his ears. He has had a few surgeries on them and although the doctors don't care if his ears get wet, HE has another view on this topic. My sister had given me some ear cover headband deals...yes this is the technical name.....which I brought the third day. They look a little something like this......

Of course, we had to share with Quinlynne (1) since she has ear issues too and (2) monkey see, monkey do with these two!

After this was on, we were walking up to the pool and he kept saying, "Mommy I want to go underwater!" Needless to say, I rushed in to dunk his stubborn butt fulfill his request before he could change his mind!

HE LOVED IT! Not apparent in this picture but he loved it!

He wanted to go under again and again and again and I even had trouble getting him to listen to what the teacher and the rest of the class was doing. I didn't mind to much since I was just glad he was doing so well. Quinlynne and Isaiah did so much better than we had anticipated. The GREAT news is they both graduated and will now be in a preschool class without Shan and I which is music to my ears! ONE thing I HATE.......ME IN A BATHING SUIT!! Me........wearing a bathing suit on purpose does not happen too often. On a funny note, the first day Shan had a boob pop out thanks to Q's clinginess and Zay's swim trunks fell down over and over again which actually happened many times that first week. So much so that I thought the four of us might get kicked out for indecent exposure!!

Sadly, I don't have very many pictures since I was IN the pool with Zay! I made Hubs come a couple of times to take pictures so now I can say I don't have very many GOOD pictures. He is new to the picture taking world since normally I am wearing my camera. He didn't stand up so many of the pictures are of the bars of the fence that the spectators had to sit behind. HELLO, stand up!! THEN the remainder of the pictures are of my butt! YEP you read that correctly I now have more pictures of me in a bathing suit than I ever thought possible. YOU KNOW I DELETED THEM! I had to remind him the point of taking pictures of swimming lessons is to get pictures for the boys' scrapbooks NOT MY BUTT!

So long story short.....Zay graduated to the preschool class complete with certificate and sucker. He has become a little fish with no fears which is sort of scary for me. Elijah is now enrolled in his third session of Level 2! They must be offering Level 2 AP classes because this boy can't seem to pass. He loves swimming but I think he still has some fears once he is under. Should've started him at an earlier age I guess?!?! When I talked about it with the instructor in order to get my prior Level 3 arrangements changed to Level 2 again, he simply said, "Well some kids have to take Level 2 three or four times before passing!" My thoughts........third times a charm........he better nail Level 2 on the third try because this is getting expensive! He makes the worst faces everytime he comes out of the water.

The BEST part of the entire story is..................I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR A BATHING SUIT which I believe to be a huge form of TORTURE that goes along with Shan's theory, "Just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it!" during thier next two weeks of lessons and sit to take HUNDREDS of pictures!!WOOHOO!!

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 pieces of advice that you think are obvious,

but some people just need to hear

1. When commenting on my children's good looks, don't finish the compliment with "What is he?" or "Is he mixed?" with a condescending smirk on your face. Then when I answer with "yes he is mixed..half human/half alien" don't look at ME like I am the crazy one. You should say, "Is he biracial/mulatto?" or simply ask me his "ethnicity". There is nothing wrong with my children. They can not help who they are or whom they came from. They are color blind when it comes to love as should all human beings. I can't help it that they are irresistibly cute, smart and sweet. Be nice! You do not have to always be politically correct if you don't have the condescending stare but remember I am their Mother and I will defend them. You are likely to get an earful, corrected or simply straight up told you hope their child didn't inherit their ugly, ignorant genes! And may the Lord above watch over you if you EVER call MY child a mutt, Oreo or the loathsome "N" word! A mutt is a dog! An Oreo is a cookie! The use of the "N" word should be outlawed!! I pity the person who would utter these remarks!

Wow sorry about that! Didn't mean for that to be so long but then I just started thinking and typing.......I can rant and ramble when it comes to that topic!! Shan, you understand!!!

2. I am a beautiful big girl! I know many beautiful big girls! HOWEVER, I don't care how much YOU love your body if you are obese YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR A BIKINI! Be proud ~ yes ~ but we ALL don't want to see it!

3. If you have a gut then buy pants that fit. Do NOT buy super low cut jeans with your gut hanging over the top and hanging out below your shirt!! If you have to lift the gut up to unbutton or button the jeans, THEY DO NOT FIT!

4. To the skinny girls who look cute in the low rise jeans: I don't want to see your crack EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you bend over, crouch down or take a step. Yes you are cute but by the next size up so you can be even cuter!!

5. Do not scream at me from your car when the windows are down unless you know my window is up! I do have children and even if you aren't cussing they don't need to learn from you or your music so loud it could wake the dead! If they are not with me, I will scream right back at you and you will be shocked that my window is also down, I have a mild case of psychosis and I can follow you home in my truck that is bigger than yours!!!! Bwahahahaha..........LOL........JUST KIDDING........maybe!!

6. PUT YOUR CHILD IN THE CAR SEAT AND STRAP THEM IN!

TWO CENTS: PROPER ENGLISH

Time for Two Cents Tuesday with Jen over at Tutu's Bliss

Boy am I giving my two cents today!

Although off topic, I definitely have an opinion.

I was talking about this very topic on the phone last night with Shan when I thought "this" could be my two cent topic!!

Proper English

Now I know I do not always speak or type proper English and may to some have a southern drawl with various Okie phrases like "ya'll" thrown in. However, for the most part I speak properly and do NOT butcher the English language.

It drives me nuts!

I correct people all of the time.

I especially hate it when people say, "These ones or those ones"! It is like nails on a chalkboard!! It is "this one, these or those"! Tez says things like "you is, I'm is, mines, yous, I is...". This is not due to his special needs but rather it is due to his Mother and her fluent Ebonics. One of the girls at work TOTALLY butchers English to the point of speaking fluent Redneck. It just irritates the crap out of me! I don't understand why people don't even attempt to speak properly.

Why?

It is not that hard!

I constantly correct people like Tez, the girl at work, Hubs and the boys. I don't want people to think I am psychotic about it. I also don't want people to think my children are less intelligent because they can't form a freaking sentence properly (note: "freaking" is proper).

This brings me to what started my ranting ~ a simple text message!

NOW

I know there is abbreviating involved in texting. I am not an avid "texter"; however, I do abbreviate from time to time even though I must admit it bothers me to do so! I know ~ I'm weird!

This is the text message I received last night from my SIL under a picture of her little girl:

"What it dew? Mi party is diz sat at 3p! C ya there! Holla if yous need directions! Love u!"

SERIOUSLY!

ARE YOU KIDDING?

SHE IS INTELLIGENT ~ SO WHY?

CAN WE SAY GHETTO!!

Let me translate:

"What it dew?" = What's up? How's it going? What are you doing? (Would it have been so hard to type What's up?)

"Mi party is diz sat at 3p!" = My party is this Saturday at 3pm! (Mi and My have the same amount of letters so why don't you just spell it correctly?!?!? And "diz"....really!)

"C ya there" = See you there! (Not bothersome)

"Holla if yous need directions." = Call if you need directions. (Holla and YOUS..good grief)

Now what is so hard about typing "What's up? My party is this sat at 3pm. call for directions"

I used to see annoying things all the time when on his various family members My space pages so I just quit going to them.

"Da" for the. "Dat" for that. "Diz" for this. "Mii" for me. "Mi" for my.

Is it just me or is "ME" actually correct and shorter to type than "mii"?

I just don't get it!

There are people who just don't know and understand.

The ones that annoy me the most are those who have learned proper English but do not care or even attempt to use it!

Some of you may think it is an ethnic or geographical problem BUT I feel it is just pure laziness.

They take the same English classes I took but then they learn their language usage at home. As adults we can choose to speak better at least if we are out in public.

Everyone can!

Back when I used to watch Oprah daily, she had an amazing show with Bill Cosby and Dr. Poussaint. In this show, a Caucasian woman stood to ask about the frequent use of the "n" word and how to explain to her children that it is not a term to be used by "white" people but accepted throughout the African-American youth, the music and film industries. Dr. Poussaint said she needs to be forceful in telling her children what she thinks. "You tell them that it's a vicious, awful, demeaning word that has led to the killing, lynching and the demoralization and feelings of inferiority in black people—and that you can't make that word positive," he says. "It really damages our children. It's damaging all the way through. You should never justify it." Bill Cosby also said, "The same people who preach about Dr. King and his teachings are throwing the word around in normal discussions not realizing the man they hold so high, Martin Luther King, Jr., is probably rolling over in his grave at the disgrace of the black community using the word so freely and making it a cool nickname. That word stands for everything he was fighting against!" I really liked that show but don't know how I went off on that tangent. Probably get some crazy anonymous remarks now ~ oh well! Anyway what I was trying to say about that show is this.....It was brought up how people in the African-American or other minority communities are viewed by their peers as trying to act "white" if they speak correctly. Oprah said something like, "No I am not acting white. I am proud to be African-American. I am just speaking proper English and maybe YOU should try it!" I loved that moment!!

No one speaks correctly ALL OF THE TIME

but an effort would be nice instead of butchering our language without a care!

I RIPPED MY LIP OFF ~ MY DUMB & DUMBER MOMENT!

You know what they say about Karma.........

WELL it sure came back to bite me in the butt!!

Isaiah loves ice cream!

I never buy ice cream because Hubs and I love it too much!

I promised Zay I would buy some so I did then went to scoop us some up!

Mmmmm.......

I told Hubs if he would go put Zay's pjs on then I would scoop us some ice cream.

He said, "Can I have some too?"

Sure!

Now knowing he has recently been diagnosed with diabetes and after sitting through the FIRST THREE HOUR diabetes education course I knew he could have some ice cream but not very much since he had eaten his carbs for the day.

I got the bowls out and they looked a little like this on the counter.............

...............staggering in size like the three little bears!

Thinking it was funny I gave Hubs aka Papa Bear the smallest bowl which was the size of a salsa/condiment bowl..............I thought it was hilarious and only put one scoop in the bowl. I couldn't wait to see his face. I pursed my lips as if sucking on a Popsicle to suck the ice cream off the ice cream scoop when low and behold I look a little something like this............

....our ice cream scoop which is an old, metal scoop had taken hold of the underneath (meaty part) of my lips ~ BOTH OF THEM!

I thought this isn't really happening and just tried to move it ...................OUCH!

I thought go slow....................DOUBLE OUCH!

I thought just rip it off like a band aid.................NOT MY BRIGHTEST IDEA!

It ripped off the entire underneath side of my upper lip. You know the red, meaty, thin skinned side that touches your teeth............OH THE PAIN!

While telling this {{not exactly sure WHY I admitted to or blogged about my stupidity in the first place}} to my friend and my Mom, they both instantly said, "why didn't you just put water on it?"

My answer: "At the moment I was a little panicked at the fact that my lip was stuck to a cold metal ice cream scoop and I didn't think about water. All I could think about was how I can't blame the creator of the King Size Snickers on single handedly (is that a word?) causing me to be obese if I have to walk around with an ice cream scoop stuck on my face ~ HELLO ~ as evidence that it is all a lie!"

SWIMMING LESSONS LEVEL 2

This morning was Elijah's final day of swimming lessons Level 2. He was so excited to show me that he can jump off the diving board but it never happened. I must say the instructor is brave to appear in front of all the skinny moms in a bathing suit. She is burley! Mean I know! I was very proud of my boy he came a long way this past month. He didn't pass Level 2 and will need to repeat it next summer but NONE of the kids passed so I didn't feel so bad.

After lessons they got a special treat - go down the slide!! The first time Elijah went down he didn't realize he did a flip underwater, came up disoriented and panicked not realizing he could touch. I will never forget the look in his eyes each time he popped up and I was SCREAMING, "STAND UP BABY YOU CAN TOUCH!" The instructor wasn't paying attention until I screamed the second time and dropped my camera fully preparing to save my boy. I've never had a feeling like that with him and he just had a terrified look in his eyes. She grabbed him, showed him he could stand up and then asked if he wanted to try again. His first response was NO but his friends pepped him up and he tried and succeeded the second time. Don't think I wasn't totally terrified for the second try!!!!

This first attempt scared the crap out of me b/c he didn't pop right back up!

The second time I just held my breathe and prayed until he popped out of the water with a smile asking to go again!

Do do do do....the DEEP END AND THE DIVING BOARD!

All he talked about all week was showing me he could jump off the diving board but when the time came he look terrified and anxious. No matter how much we begged and bribed it just never happened! Oh well maybe next year!

Deep in thought

Every time we thought he was going to jump he would merely reach down and scratch his foot. He did this about 10 times! Next year baby!

WHAT.....NO PICTURES?!?!?!

I am so sad and so is Elijah! Today we are leaving for Branson which is exciting BUT I took off work today to take Elijah for his final swimming lesson in Level 1 and take pictures. We get there and it looks like it is going to rain but nothing yet. The swim instructors come out to tell everyone that swimming is canceled for now b/c of lightning. They are not allowed into the pool until 30 minutes after a strike of lightning and so after a 30 minute wait their alloted time would be over. He gave him his certificate for passing Level 1 but now I have no pictures of Level 1 swimming lessons for his scrapbook. Maybe my mom took some over the last couple of weeks......I sure hope so! Well I need to go load the car up for our trip..............woohoo!

LEARNING TO RIDE

Elijah has been begging us to take his training wheels off of his bike and today we finally did. Martez was getting frustrated at first and wanted to give up after about 3 mins b/c they were both stressing out but I pulled him aside said be patient and calm and he will learn it much faster, don't act like you were born riding a bike. Martez regrouped and I am so glad HE was able to teach him how to ride his bike so I could take pics, of course!

He was riding the bike all by himself within 27 minutes! He was having a little trouble starting but we taught him how to use the curb. Everything was going good........

...Moose and Elijah were on a roll down the street when...

...Elijah ran smack dab into the Mustang on the right side of the pic while trying to look back at us! Martez went running to his aid but he was fine then Elijah ran up a driveway into a pile of leftover ice storm debris then down into an SUV! OUCH!

It was so "serious"! He was "never going to ride the bike again"! So I had him call Meme and Papa to tell them how good he did and of course he needed to tell them he would "never" ride again b/c he was seriously injured! I thought the Batman band aid would help but not so much he still just moped around for about 30 minutes. He sat in the house until I asked Martez to put Elijah's bike into my car so I could take it to Goodwill since he was going to just give up and never ride again! Well I'll try in a little bit! My response, "Oh OK but only if YOU want to!" trying to make him think I didn't care but I just didn't want him to give up! Next thing I know he is out on the bike and didn't stop for about an hour! Go baby go! Just watch out for parked vehicles and dead tree debris! lol Of course Isaiah who is extremely jealous and constantly demands attention had to have a picture of him riding his "bike" with "no hands momma!"

LEARNING THE JOYS OF GIVING

Elijah is growing up no matter how hard I try to keep him as my baby boy! Sad but true! At least he is a nice, obedient, loving and thoughtful boy....for the time being! Don't get me wrong he has his ornery streak but overall he is a very good kid. At high school aka elementary school they had a mini store set up so the students could buy Christmas gifts for their family and friends. Little nick knacks, FINE jewelry and toys for them to spend their own money on if so desired. Well first he bought me a ring for Christmas but absolutely couldn't stand it anymore and gave it to me for my birthday......it is one precious gem I tell you!

He then bought me a couple of other gifts and a couple for Daddy for Christmas. He then decided his Meme and Papa needed gifts JUST from him.

He bought Meme a beautiful 5kt "yellow diamond" ring which she just loves!

Conveniently Elijah bought Papa a car that he will be able to play with when he is at their house!

I am very proud of my little man for still being his thoughtful little self and for wanting to spend the money on others instead of buying toys for himself. The look on his face watching them unwrap their presents was priceless for me. He even wrapped them himself. I am proud of my boy and he was so full of pride and excitement it was cute. It makes me think I AM doing SOMETHING right!!