SMALL TALK SIX

For some reason I can not get the small talk six buttongs to appear on here. I have tried all three sizes and nothing!! Oh well here it goes......back with my Small Talk Six!

6 jobs I think would be a blast to have

since I have been unemployed for 5 months hmm.........

1. ANY JOB

2. A job where I can have an adult conversation

3. A job that will pay me money......any money

4. A dancer......no not a stripper or a pole dancer but a dancer......I love watching dancing and often wish I could dance for money but alas I am not that good and well I don't have the body that people want to pay to see!!! lolol I could be a roll dancer!! Oh my goodness...now that one cracked me up....seriously...you know you laughed!!

5. Hmm.......I would love to be a whale trainer.....ya'll know you go see Shamu, get the goosebumps then wish you could be in the water too! Me in a wet suit......NOT going to happen!! Plus I have a slight fear I could be seen as a good meal by the whale! THAT would suck!!

6. I heard google was a great job.....great benefits, nap times, game time and hey you know they make money!!

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 pieces of advice that you think are obvious,

but some people just need to hear

1. When commenting on my children's good looks, don't finish the compliment with "What is he?" or "Is he mixed?" with a condescending smirk on your face. Then when I answer with "yes he is mixed..half human/half alien" don't look at ME like I am the crazy one. You should say, "Is he biracial/mulatto?" or simply ask me his "ethnicity". There is nothing wrong with my children. They can not help who they are or whom they came from. They are color blind when it comes to love as should all human beings. I can't help it that they are irresistibly cute, smart and sweet. Be nice! You do not have to always be politically correct if you don't have the condescending stare but remember I am their Mother and I will defend them. You are likely to get an earful, corrected or simply straight up told you hope their child didn't inherit their ugly, ignorant genes! And may the Lord above watch over you if you EVER call MY child a mutt, Oreo or the loathsome "N" word! A mutt is a dog! An Oreo is a cookie! The use of the "N" word should be outlawed!! I pity the person who would utter these remarks!

Wow sorry about that! Didn't mean for that to be so long but then I just started thinking and typing.......I can rant and ramble when it comes to that topic!! Shan, you understand!!!

2. I am a beautiful big girl! I know many beautiful big girls! HOWEVER, I don't care how much YOU love your body if you are obese YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR A BIKINI! Be proud ~ yes ~ but we ALL don't want to see it!

3. If you have a gut then buy pants that fit. Do NOT buy super low cut jeans with your gut hanging over the top and hanging out below your shirt!! If you have to lift the gut up to unbutton or button the jeans, THEY DO NOT FIT!

4. To the skinny girls who look cute in the low rise jeans: I don't want to see your crack EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you bend over, crouch down or take a step. Yes you are cute but by the next size up so you can be even cuter!!

5. Do not scream at me from your car when the windows are down unless you know my window is up! I do have children and even if you aren't cussing they don't need to learn from you or your music so loud it could wake the dead! If they are not with me, I will scream right back at you and you will be shocked that my window is also down, I have a mild case of psychosis and I can follow you home in my truck that is bigger than yours!!!! Bwahahahaha..........LOL........JUST KIDDING........maybe!!

6. PUT YOUR CHILD IN THE CAR SEAT AND STRAP THEM IN!

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 things you always wondered about any of your teachers or professors when you were in school

1. Did they love school?
2. Were they cursed with tons of homework as students and now this is their time for payback?
3. Do they really love the subject they teach so much that they are willing to get paid next to nothing just to teach others about it?
4. Why do they care if I am late since they know they were late too now and then? I am sure those ten minutes or so I missed didn't screw up my entire education! As you can tell, I had my fair share of tardies!!
5. Do they want to punch the jerks and divas as bad as I do and tell them to get a life?
6. Why do some teachers punish the entire class when the troublemaker screws up yet again? Do they not realize we already get annoyed by them and this just makes the hatred run deeper? I know this is probably the point they are trying to make to the troublemaker but you should know by now THEY DO NOT CARE what we think and will cause trouble regardless of how we feel!!!

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 animals (domestic, wild, or exotic)

you think would be fun to own as pets

1. Elephant ~ I have loved elephants since I was a little girl! Gentle, awe inspiring giants of beauty!
2. Siberian Tiger
3. Chimpanzee only if it would use the toilet since I do not want to start the whole diapering issue again
4. Killer Whale
5. Giraffe
6. Another Great Dane because I really miss Daisy!
   
   

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 breakfast foods that you love or hate

LOVE.....

1. I. LOVE. PANCAKES! I can eat pancakes for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Slap on some butter, Griffin's syrup and powdered sugar (breakfast of sugar addicts) and I am in my own little heaven. I love 'em! I often make them for dinner since the whole family loves them too!
2. Scrambled eggs with a little cheese, ham, tabasco and peppers ~ I make an awesome little concoction!
3. Hashbrowns or fried potatoes (Geez I don't know why I am fat!)
4. Cereal ~ Honeycombs, Frosted Flakes, Cheerios, Captain Crunch with berries or Special K Chocolate
5. Bacon ~ extra crispy
6. Blueberry muffins and lets not forget doughnuts

Truthfully though Special K cereal bars and a banana are all I normally get for breakfast if I eat breakfast at all!

Hate.....

1. Grits ~ gag*gag*gag*gag*vomit
2. Oatmeal ~ ANY flavor! I have tried this so many times wanting to like them but I just can't eat them. I am a texture girl and the texture makes me gag no matter how many ways I try to cook them!
3. Cocoa Wheaties ~ my Mom loves these but I think they are merely glorified dirt
4. Biscuits and gravy ~ I love the biscuits but I hate gravy
5. Bran muffins
6. Hmm.....I can't even think of another breakfast food!
   

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 things you would do naked if you lived alone

1. Sleep ~ wait NO because for some queer reason I can't sleep naked!

SO NOW I NEED A NEW #1

1. Get ready ~ straight from the shower and get dressed last
2. Watch TV ~ wait NO because I like PJs and a blanket

SO NOW I NEED A NEW #2

New #2. Sunbathe in my backyard with about a 10 ft privacy fence!!

3. Laundry ~ take off what I am wearing put it in the washer with no fear of running into small children on my way back to my room

4. Blog

5. Eat and lose tons of weight ~ Oh my goodness this is THE perfect diet plan. Eat naked then while passing the mirror on the "after meal" bathroom trip see myself naked which would make me throw up everything I just ate out of pure disgust!!

6. Hmm.....I haven't a clue....iron clothes....wait no I have tried that and burned my belly from pressing the steam too close to myself! I don't have a sixth!

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 things you love or hate about springtime

1. I love Daylight Savings time because I love having more daylight in the evening.
2. Planting flowers and tending to them ~ Ok I actually don't like the act of planting but I do enjoy caring for them once they are planted and watching them grow
3. I love the smell of the clean crisp air and the feeling that everything is fresh and new.
4. I love spring cleaning ~ ok wait I don't actually like the cleaning but I do enjoy the feeling once it is all done
5. I love taking the boys to the park and playing outside! They will play outside until the absolute last minute. I think they would live outside if they were allowed; therefore, I am seriously thinking about buying a large tent, putting them in then locking them out! Kidding ~ put your phone down!
6. I love opening the windows and letting the fresh air in! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that the weather is just right ~ not too hot and not too cold! There is nothing like a spring breeze!

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 things you love that are green

1. Money ~ need more and I would love more ~ donations accepted! Kidding! Wait...maybe not!


2. Grass ~ I love the look of a well manicured yard. Hubs does the mowing and I do all of the edging because I am very particular about the edge. A good groove along the edge makes a world of difference.

3. My bathroom ~ After moving in and tearing down the hideous wallpaper, I painted the bathroom a deep green. Not a dark green and not sage but in between the two and it is so pretty.

4. Recycling ~ Although it is not the color green but it is "going green" and saving our Earth one plastic bottle, metal can and glass jar at a time. I thought it would be a giant pain in the butt; however, it is easy and everyone can do it! Just try!

5. Hmm....I am at a loss for something else green so hold on while I think....ok veggies. I like green beans and MY green bean casserole. I like broccoli but the mere sight of canned spinach can make me gag! I LOVE pickles. I like cucumbers, zucchini but don't even try to make me eat peas!

6. I LOVE Granny Smith apples! Nothing like 'em! Give me a granny smith apple and some crunchy peanut butter to dip it in and I am in heaven.

SMALL TALK SIX!

6 places you would like to travel to if you had someone trustworthy to watch your children and pets

Ooooh how I love to travel!

1. I desperately want to go back to Europe. I LOVE ITALY! I want to go back to see more of it. This time though I also want to visit Amsterdam, Spain, Germany then swing on back to Switzerland and well while I am at it let's go ahead and go to Greece ~ that's not asking too much right but it will have to be one long trip ~ wait then can we boat on over to Ireland since we are in the general vacinity ~ hahahahaha ~ general vacinity that cracks me up!
2. Australia and New Zealand ~ I would have to take the boys with me though since Elijah has wanted to visit Australia for years. He is a HUGE Crocodile Hunter fan and wants to visit the Australia Zoo. He also wants to just travel through Australia looking for wildlife. I want to visit simply because of their beauty.
3. Africa ~ I would love to go on a trip to Africa and go on an African safari. I would also like to work there with their children and yet again I would have to take the boys with me!
4. Canada ~ The scenery from Jillian's home on the Bachelor was absolutely breathtaking.
5. Alaska ~ do they have a summer? I hate cold but I REALLY want to see Alaska
6. Hawaii ~ I haven't been there. This would be my last pick since I hate the mere thought of me in a swimsuit! I was supposed to be there this month for a wedding alas obviously we will not be attending now. Boo hoo!
7. Had to add a #7 ~ I want to travel around the Eastern US in the fall!