PORKS, OF COURSE!

Elijah is still obsessed with all things nature and history.  He still watches National Geographic, Discovery Channel, the History channel and Animal Planet like they are all that is on but I am just fine with that.  His new thing is to find random facts then tell us all as if he has THE most important thing to say.

A few weeks ago he comes running down the hallway screaming my name.  Of course, I run to him since he was screaming as though he lost a limb and this is the mini fact convo we had:

Elijah, "Mom, did you know that makeup is made of 50% pork oil?"

Moi, "No!  Did you know mascara is made of bat poop?" 

I won!  He was grossed out and speechless!  Not really sure if mine was fact or myth but frankly I don't care since I am a mascara addict and will continue the use even if it means I am obsessed with rubbing bat poop all over my eyelashes!

Then......

Elijah went to his friend's house the other day.  Elijah decides he is going to "freak out" Mindy, his friend's mom, and shares his little fact.

Elijah, "Did you know the makeup you wear is 50% pork oil?

Mindy, "No, I didn't know that but do you know where pork oil comes from?"

Elijah, "Of course..... PORKS!"

NOW in my sons defense....he doesn't eat "pork" remember so he doesn't realize pork is from pigs!  I am surprised he didn't answer with chicken!  EVERY meat is chicken in my boys' worlds!  If I make beef, pork chops, roast or ribs and called them by their actual names, then my kiddos would turn their little noses and say they don't like it.  Soooooo when Elijah was little I just renamed ALL meat to chicken.  My kids could be eating country style boneless pork ribs and say, "Oooo momma these chicken ribs are good!"  If I said I was making "country style boneless pork ribs" it would be a war to get them to try them so I only make chicken pork chops etc....wink*wink* 

Oh how I love my funny fact finder boy!

A WHOLE NEW EXCITING WORLD

You all know my parents closed their business in April 2009 and I was unemployed for a little over 7 months.  Finding a job was way harder than I had ever even imagined.  I could do HR, AP, AR, taxes, place order, post orders, enter new items, sales reporting, marketing and much more but no one cared.  I couldn't find a job anywhere.  I was told basically I had too much experience in too many areas aka they "thought" they couldn't afford me or I would quit too soon for a better opportunity.  I just needed a paycheck.  No one was willing to give me  a chance.  I finally got hired on at the Ophthalmology clinic/surgery center where my sister worked on November 17, 2009.  This would be a whole new world for me considering I had never worked in the medical field but I was willing to do anything by this time as long as it gave me a paycheck again!

I won't even lie when I started I absolutely hated it.  I always hated filing and would even pay my nieces and nephews to file for me.  Instead of laziness or just mere hatred of filing, I chose to call it "outsourcing".  Filing...ugh!  The first day at my new job I filed for 10 hours in heels.  I wanted to chop my feet off.  Hubs asked me what I did and I said, "I filed all day!"  He said, "Well you had to do something other than file."  I replied, "No, I filed all day long IN HIGH HEELS!"  Then I began to cry!  I hated it but that didn't matter I had to have a paycheck to feed the boys.  I was there everyday at 6:45am.  I no longer got to get the kids up and ready for their day and take them wherever they needed to be.  We all had a bit of adjusting to do for awhile and saying it didn't go over well is quite the understatement.  I didn't even see them in the mornings and then all day until about 6pm.  Let me tell you working 7-5:30 was a big change from 10-4!  I do not like mornings especially starting my morning at 5am.  I had to dress up daily including dress shoes aka high heels during my probation period then they would order scrubs.  I was excited at first but that was extremely short lived consider I wanted to cut my feet off after day 3!  I managed. 

First I worked in medical records.  Prepping almost 100 charts for each day constantly trying to stay one week ahead, sending medical records to other doctors/patients/agencies/insurance companies, searching various offices within two floors for missing charts and filing.  Oh the filing!  I thought it would be the death of me.  I moved to two desks within two weeks.  Then was I started filling in at the front desk.  Then I moved to check-in at the front desk and then check-out at the front desk.  They quickly figured out what I had said all along in each of my billion interviews over my 7.5 month long unemployment, "I learn quickly and can do anything I am taught".  I worked my butt off and it quickly paid off. 

In April after only being with the clinic a little over 4 months, our LASIK surgery counselor resigned.  I wanted the position but feared I wouldn't get it for two reasons:  (1) I had only been there for 4 months and (2)  I was too good at my current position that they wouldn't want to move me.  By this time, two of the front desk girls had been fired (one including my sister...ouch....that is a long story) and there were only two of us up front.   I just knew I wouldn't get it.  I decided to try anyway in hopes that at least they would see I wanted to move up and was willing to learn more.  Plus, I needed more money....in a bad way!

I GOT IT!

Saying I was floored is putting it lightly.  I had my very own office.....A BIG OFFICE WITH A WHOLE WALL OF WINDOWS.

I did strictly LASIK counseling for about two months.  Then the Cataract counselor took a week off so I was quickly thrown into that as well.  Now I do LASIK counseling, cataract, YAG, SLT, ICL, DSAEK, PTG and corneal transplant counseling plus they have added a little marketing to all of this.  (I know you don't know what half of that is but it is a LOT!)

I LOVE IT!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

I AM MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLE'S LIVES AND LOVING EVERY MINUTE!

Now it is by far not the perfect job and I have my moments (especially when insurance companies are involved) but I have learned a whole new world of information involving eyes and vision and it is truly interesting and amazing the things we can do!  I work a lot and often worry about the impact this has had on our lives but I also have not missed a thing involving the boys sports or school activities.  I have become friends with some great people and had my own life changing opportunity that I will tell you all about later.  In short, this job has been a whirlwind and a God send to my life.  It seems like just yesterday I was searching high and low desperate for job but really I have been here almost a year and a half.  I think it is good to keep that time fresh in my mind so that I will always make sure I am an asset and keep my job as well as keep me humble!  Wow how time flies!

I WON!!

I entered this giveaway in April!

I never expect to win because I never won anything until blogger came into my life!

I WON!!!

I did not realize I had won then I sent my mailing address to an invalid email address. Then when I turned my address into the correct email address it was a day late so I thought I wouldn't get my prize!

I received the book the end of last week!

This is an AWESOME book and it is huge!

The boys absolutely love it!

It is hard cover with sturdy pages chuck FULL of dinotastic information!

I would highly recommend this book if your kids' are dino lovers like mine!!

Thanks Momdot!

TWO CENTS: PROPER ENGLISH

Time for Two Cents Tuesday with Jen over at Tutu's Bliss

Boy am I giving my two cents today!

Although off topic, I definitely have an opinion.

I was talking about this very topic on the phone last night with Shan when I thought "this" could be my two cent topic!!

Proper English

Now I know I do not always speak or type proper English and may to some have a southern drawl with various Okie phrases like "ya'll" thrown in. However, for the most part I speak properly and do NOT butcher the English language.

It drives me nuts!

I correct people all of the time.

I especially hate it when people say, "These ones or those ones"! It is like nails on a chalkboard!! It is "this one, these or those"! Tez says things like "you is, I'm is, mines, yous, I is...". This is not due to his special needs but rather it is due to his Mother and her fluent Ebonics. One of the girls at work TOTALLY butchers English to the point of speaking fluent Redneck. It just irritates the crap out of me! I don't understand why people don't even attempt to speak properly.

Why?

It is not that hard!

I constantly correct people like Tez, the girl at work, Hubs and the boys. I don't want people to think I am psychotic about it. I also don't want people to think my children are less intelligent because they can't form a freaking sentence properly (note: "freaking" is proper).

This brings me to what started my ranting ~ a simple text message!

NOW

I know there is abbreviating involved in texting. I am not an avid "texter"; however, I do abbreviate from time to time even though I must admit it bothers me to do so! I know ~ I'm weird!

This is the text message I received last night from my SIL under a picture of her little girl:

"What it dew? Mi party is diz sat at 3p! C ya there! Holla if yous need directions! Love u!"

SERIOUSLY!

ARE YOU KIDDING?

SHE IS INTELLIGENT ~ SO WHY?

CAN WE SAY GHETTO!!

Let me translate:

"What it dew?" = What's up? How's it going? What are you doing? (Would it have been so hard to type What's up?)

"Mi party is diz sat at 3p!" = My party is this Saturday at 3pm! (Mi and My have the same amount of letters so why don't you just spell it correctly?!?!? And "diz"....really!)

"C ya there" = See you there! (Not bothersome)

"Holla if yous need directions." = Call if you need directions. (Holla and YOUS..good grief)

Now what is so hard about typing "What's up? My party is this sat at 3pm. call for directions"

I used to see annoying things all the time when on his various family members My space pages so I just quit going to them.

"Da" for the. "Dat" for that. "Diz" for this. "Mii" for me. "Mi" for my.

Is it just me or is "ME" actually correct and shorter to type than "mii"?

I just don't get it!

There are people who just don't know and understand.

The ones that annoy me the most are those who have learned proper English but do not care or even attempt to use it!

Some of you may think it is an ethnic or geographical problem BUT I feel it is just pure laziness.

They take the same English classes I took but then they learn their language usage at home. As adults we can choose to speak better at least if we are out in public.

Everyone can!

Back when I used to watch Oprah daily, she had an amazing show with Bill Cosby and Dr. Poussaint. In this show, a Caucasian woman stood to ask about the frequent use of the "n" word and how to explain to her children that it is not a term to be used by "white" people but accepted throughout the African-American youth, the music and film industries. Dr. Poussaint said she needs to be forceful in telling her children what she thinks. "You tell them that it's a vicious, awful, demeaning word that has led to the killing, lynching and the demoralization and feelings of inferiority in black people—and that you can't make that word positive," he says. "It really damages our children. It's damaging all the way through. You should never justify it." Bill Cosby also said, "The same people who preach about Dr. King and his teachings are throwing the word around in normal discussions not realizing the man they hold so high, Martin Luther King, Jr., is probably rolling over in his grave at the disgrace of the black community using the word so freely and making it a cool nickname. That word stands for everything he was fighting against!" I really liked that show but don't know how I went off on that tangent. Probably get some crazy anonymous remarks now ~ oh well! Anyway what I was trying to say about that show is this.....It was brought up how people in the African-American or other minority communities are viewed by their peers as trying to act "white" if they speak correctly. Oprah said something like, "No I am not acting white. I am proud to be African-American. I am just speaking proper English and maybe YOU should try it!" I loved that moment!!

No one speaks correctly ALL OF THE TIME

but an effort would be nice instead of butchering our language without a care!

10 THINGS I LEARNED IN 2008

Joining in on Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop Wednesday for the 1st time here we go:

TEN THINGS I LEARNED IN 2008

CAUTION: This post might cause you to believe I am a little nuts! Don't worry I am! I even won two free tickets to the Looney Bin to prove it!! Oh yeah I need to go pick those up! Have fun guys and have a great New Years! I will since all my boys will be watching football and I will be SHOPPING. KID. FREE!!

1. I learned through flying kites for the first time that our 3yr and a 6yr old have short attention spans for objects flying high in the sky. Fun at first then they are like are we done now and you have to wind it ALL back up!! However we had a GREAT laugh each and every time Isaiah's kite would "fly away"! He would scream HELP repeatedly while running with his arm stretched out as far as it could go and the string unraveling at lightning speed! That's a sight! It never got old! Really I laughed each time! You don't think I handed over control of the kite simply because he asked, do you?!?! I think he thought once all the string was done unraveling that he might just fly away too!
2. I learned that when you go to sporting events games with friends and you think the husbands are checking out the cheerleaders......THEY ARE! Wow they give them big 'ol smiles! Hey I'm bendy too!
3. Elijah learned how to ride his bike without the training wheels and who knew it would be such a pivotal moment of humor. He ran into 4month old pile of ice storm debris ~ twice, rode into a parked car ~ twice, fell and scrapped his elbow then after the meltdown he eventually got back out and rode again! That was the best part even though the parked car incident was funny after we knew he was ok!
4. Who knew a trip from Tulsa to Atlanta could be so eventful? And who knew Memphis and North Little Rock were so scary? In North Little Rock I was mistaken for a prostitute. I am still wondering if besides being a bad thing that maybe in someway it could be good! Don't think so but still wondering! Trying to find the Lorraine Motel, home of the National Civil Rights museum and the Martin Luther King Memorial, we witnessed a young boy get hit by a car then stopped to help until I saw his leg bone sticking OUT of his leg and almost puked on him. When I turned around I noticed a bunch of crackheads just circling our truck in a daze, Martez quickly ran over once he saw them. He was worried about the truck and I was worried about the kids inside the truck! Yes this all really happened ~ just in the first half of the drive there!
5. Who knew that losing a pet could be so heartbreaking? She wasn't just any pet and I never had a pet that special ~ probably never will! I certainly didn't and I could still cry just thinking about my precious GIANT baby girl Daisy. I certainly never thought I would miss a Great Dane trying to get a handshake while I am on the toilet ~ sick I know ~ but I do!
6. I learned that no matter how many times I see Adriano Moraes butt I NEVER get sick of it! Even if you hate bull riding you have to like a bull rider in tight wranglers. If you don't like that, you need your eyes checked!
7. I also learned when it's your son's last day to prove he can jump in the deep end during swimming lessons his foot will really itch. Every time you think he is about to jump in, have the camera ready for the 100th shot of him just bending over to scratch said itchy foot!! AND thinking your son is drowning while his teacher isn't paying attention and he can't stay above water long enough to hear you screaming "JUST STAND UP! YOU CAN TOUCH BABY STAND UP!" ~ that's scary!
8. I learned the word "kitties" is a truly embarrassing word when you have a 3yr old screaming it repeatedly in your car, parked in a department store parking lot with the windows down AND ~ here's the kicker folks ~ your precious 3yr old ~ you know the one screaming ~ he can't say the letter "k" or words that start with the letter "k" INSTEAD he uses a "t" for every K sound in his vocabulary!!
9. I learned that my son thinks he is a "delicious" item off of the Taco Bueno menu! Mmmm.....good! Ooooo and I learned being IN parades truly sucks! I am a much better spectator!!
10. Above all I learned how a very sick, very young little boy, I only had the privilege to see in person once, could show me strength and the power of a smile even when things are bad! I can't say much more or I will cry! Rest in peace Maddox and play in heaven with your 'WHOLE' heart!! Please continue to keep Maddox's family in your prayers! Tammi is a wreck and due to have the baby any day!
11. Wait I learned that blogging is addiction, obsessive, time-consuming, work-ignoring, child-neglecting, insomnia enabling FUN which is why this top 10 list even has a number 11 b/c I just can't stop!!! Oh and I hate those word verification thingeys!!

REMEMBER THOSE PROJECTS....WELL

Remember a while back when I first moved my blog over to blogger and I made a list of the projects I wanted to do well I have done a few more and here they are~~

First of all I did the Halloween bags made out of t-shirts. I had seen somewhere (don't remember where so if it was your idea and you are reading this than I am sorry I am not giving you credit b/c I forgot where I saw this) how to make "green" grocery bags out of old tank tops and up crept the idea to make Halloween treat bags out of halloween t-shirts (kid-sized). Much easier to pack away with halloween stuff than those big 'ol pumpkin baskets. So super easy just sew the bottom shut, cut off the sleeves about an inch from the seam then I cut the overhang to the seam so the edges looked ragged. Did that make any sense? The holes from the arms are the handle and the hole for the head is the hole to put candy in. Make sense? Sorry I don't instruct crafts very often!!

Not sure why this pic has such horrible color but notice the sleeve edges.
My next project takes NO talent what so ever! Love those! I was going to craft it up but I didn't do to time and NEEDING to use the finish project to help my son. I created sight word books. SIMPLE SIMPLE SIMPLE! I have seen some that are all crafty with different colors and crafty little pictures but I just needed it finished so I could use it. Just buy a cheap photo album ~ I got mine at Big Lots. I then just did an excel document with four words to a page so each section is almost "picture" size, cut them apart and filled the book well actually I filled about three books. I used both his kindergarten and 1st grade sight words as well as some other simple words and all the color names and numbers as words. I also made one for Isaiah with colors, numbers, letters and family names ~ I need him occupied while I work with Elijah on reading. I know anyone can do this on their own however if you have a kindergartener or 1st grader I saved the excel document so I can email the document so all that you would have to do is print, cut and fill your own book. Just let me know! Since I am worldwide and all! That cracks me up ~ I have like no following at all so I really don't know who I am talking to besides myself, a couple of friends and a couple of family members but I would like to think those lurkers really might be interested in what I do!!