Dear Creator of the KING SIZE Snickers,
I am writing this letter to let you know you might single handedly be my excuse for being overweight! Why? Why did you make the snickers such a creamy, chocolatey, peanuty, caramely, addictive, fattening, delicious bar of love and then go and make it KING SIZE? I mean the addiction was bad enough with the regular size bar so why make the addiction KING SIZE? Sometimes I wonder if I could live off the sinful goodness you created and then I look into the evil fat image starring back at me in the mirror. I can't erase the stretch marks caused by two pregnancies and countless KING SIZE snickers! I can't get rid of the gallbladder-ectomy, appendectomy, oophrectomy, tumor-ectomy and two c-section scars that lace the upper portion of my body. Yes those are proper medical terms there!! But the rolls of fat that took over the abdominal region of my body I can't control either thanks to you! The rolls got bigger as your Snickers got bigger so YOU are the one I will blame. Sure I put the bar into my mouth but YOU made it addictive and irresistible to people the world over. How do you live with yourself? Hold on......
.....sorry I needed yet another bite. I have to pace myself or the speed at which the bar disappears overwhelms me! I am writing this with a proposal in mind. How about you discontinue the KING SIZE Snickers and pack 3 bite size bars into one package? Maybe I could spread those out, finish one and save some for later since I wouldn't want to ever admit I ate 3 Snickers in one day! Just a thought!
I WILL admit the name SnickersSatifies.com is a GREAT name for a website simply because it is so true. I also will admit more than once I have wondered if the name Peanutopolis placed on the back of some of the packages is an actual place and if the cost of living is cheaper there. I've thought about searching on Mapquest but I think that might be taking it a little far!
Again just a proposal but alas it is time for another bite because it just keeps starring at me and screaming my name!
Your KING SIZE Snickers lover, addict and fat friend,
10 hours ago