Tuesday, January 06, 2009


So the boy walks in on me yet again while I am getting out of the shower! You know boy I am talking about already....Isaiah!

No "big ones" comments today! Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing! Sad I know! But anytime someone tells you, you have big ones it is a little uplifting UNLESS they are talking about your butt then it is an insult! Hmm.... ok rambling....back to my story...

.....Isaiah walks in as I am stepping out of the shower then instantly says, "Mommy where is your peepee!" totally serious and shocked at the same time.

"I don't have a peepee Baby!" I tried to shut him up so he would leave reassure him but wanted to be alone.

He says terrified with his little bottom lip quivering, "What happened to it?" as if the thought of his falling off too was racing through his busy little 3yr old mind.

After trying to explain peepees and how Mommies don't have them three times without success because in his words "how can "gwirls" go potty if they don't have a peepee" and avoiding the 3yr old 6:30am anatomy lesson, I finally just said, "Mommy's peepee fell off! All little girls peepees fall off when they are super tiny tiny babies and that's how they become girls! Only Daddies and boys have peepees!" This satisfied him and he went about his merry little way! This also satisfied me because I needed to get ready! At the time I didn't realize how big of a mistake I had just made!!

Fast forward many days.....

while "helping" Mommy at the grocery store......

mental image ~ The two of us walking down the grocery store aisles. Isaiah picking up random items I call out to him because he loves being Mommy's big helper when he isn't running around pretending to be a race car and crashing into things and "cutting me off"! Oh how I love it when he does that!

I hear Isaiah mumbling something as people pass by us but I can not hear him clearly. Obviously, the people could hear him better than me b/c I kept getting some odd looks.

All the sudden I hear him while chatting with some unknown victim child, "Did your Mommy's peepee fall off too?" I quickly said, "Isaiah please don't talk about that with people you do not know! Let's go get......." in a kind "please excuse my child" way while I tug on his arm. After thinking about it and the strange looks, I realized if people did not know what I had told him then they probably think I am in the middle of a sex change operation or something and laughed really hard outloud by myself which just reaffirmed I am a "freak" in THEIR eyes.

A couple of aisles later where it was packed I hear him saying under his breath, "He has a peepee, he has a peepee, you have a peepee, hers peepee fell off, hers peepee fell off......" with each person he sees. I did not make a huge ordeal and tell him to stop because he was doing it very quietly and most of the looks had stopped so I just let him be rather than cause a giant meltdown in the middle of the store and make him yell out something about "peepees". UNTIL he got to a little boy with long hair who received the brunt end of the lesson........he says to the boy, "Are you a boy or a gwirl?"

The poor boy just stood there silent.

Isaiah repeats loudly, "ARE YOU A BOY OR A GWIRL?" while holding onto the child's arm and the oblivious Mom stares from down the aisle then smiles. Wow she hasn't a clue!

Still no answer....big mistake....the boy should have just answered the question.

Isaiah then says, "I SAID, ARE YOU A BOY OR A GWURL? (Me...."Isaiah that is enough come on son!) IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEN WOOK IN YOUR PANTS AND (Me ...."Isaiah that is enough NOW come on....1...)SEE IF YOU HAVE A PEEPEE. IF YOU (..2...)ARE A BOY THEN YOU HAVE A PEEPEE AND IF YOU ARE A GWIRL THEN IT FELL OFF! GO AHEAD WOOK!"

The boy proceeds to look in his pants and his Mom comes running down the aisle and while I am tugging my son away the little boy screams, "I STILL HAVE MY PEEPEE! I AM A BOY!" at the top of his lungs.

Isaiah who always has to have the last word (can't figure out where he gets it) screams out, "Then tut your hair!"

Needless to say we had quite the discussion and our grocery trip was over!


  1. OH MY GOSH! You know- the look in your pants command isn't that bad...that's a normal little kid thing. BUT, the "Tut your hair!" think would have mortified me and made me laugh at the same time! I can just imagine that other mom's face!!!! chuckling so hard!

  2. This story is freaking hilarious! I had to read it twice and laughed just as hard both times. I would have been totally freaking out!I am not so good with public displays of having to discipline my children. I get sooooo embarassed. Which is why when Xavier was little we would buy a new batman at each shopping trip to Wal-mart because if I didn't, he would freak, and I couldn't handle it. Boy when James and I got married that was the first habit of Xavier's that got stopped. Thank God! Was an expensive habit. ;o) Love you!

  3. I am crying!! You really should write a book about how your boys say the darnest things! That story comes right up to my dad and elijah having a conversation about the planet uranis?!


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