BIG ONES...WOOHOO!

I know this is probably a problem for many Mothers but I can't stand the fact that it is almost impossible to go to the bathroom by MYSELF!! Very irritating! When our Great Dane Daisy was alive, she had the ability to open doors with her mouth. If I failed to lock the bathroom door, she would open the door, sit her big butt directly in front of me and raise her paws slapping me in the chest hoping for a "pawshake". I would tell her NO then she would switch paws as if to say well how about this one! I love her and miss her terribly BUT I do not miss those moments!! Now if I fail to shut the door completely Moose, our ugly, overweight English Bulldog desperately seeking love from me, comes in and sits directly in front of me and just stares.....oooo little ugly freak! For some queer reason the kids always have something URGENT to tell me or ask me as soon as I sit on the toilet and it bugs me to no end repeatedly saying, "shut the door I am going to the bathroom!" I know you all are saying just lock the door but half the time I forget and the other half of the time I don't to avoid the tantrum Isaiah will throw at the door. I also know you are saying "let him throw a fit, he'll get over it" but in three years he still throws a fit when I lock the door even though I have never given in and unlocked....so what now!! It is easier to just not lock the door for now and pray while I potty that he doesn't realize I am in the bathroom! He likes to play with a line of "tars" aka cars in the opening of the door between our bedroom and our bathroom and uses the carpet seam as a bump for his mini 4 wheelers....he's both weird AND imaginative! Another thing that irritates me is when I am going potty and my husband flings open the door when he gets off of work as if I am doing something wrong and says, "what are you doing?" Hmmm.....how old are you? I am sitting on the toilet cooking dinner...ugh....I am going to the bathroom! Seriously what does it LOOK like I am doing!!! Something that cracks me up is if I am going #2 and one of the three of them (Wow I am seriously outnumbered!) opens the door talking to me then says, "ooo it stinks in here"....hmm...no one asked you to come in and give your opinion so get out and stay out!! Enough of that....this morning I locked the door and when Isaiah came looking for me I failed to answer so he began looking elsewhere. Through the side crack in the door I could see him looking UNDER our bed saying, "Mommy where are you?" I love him for merely thinking I could FIT under the bed!! Then I thought he was sitting in front of the door waiting so I said, "Mommy is going potty. What do you need?" I found out after I opened the door that I was talking to Moose! Long story short I went to the bathroom ALONE then took my shower again ALONE with Isaiah screaming something at the door and me saying just a minute about 100 times! I get out of the shower, wrap my towel around me and see what important thing Isaiah needed to tell me. Nothing important just some made up important nonsense AGAIN! He commences playing with the "tars" at the door seam and I begin to put lotion on. There I was naked when the sweetest thing came from his mouth...."Wow Mommy you have big ones!" At first I was not pleased thinking he was talking about the road map of stretch marks and surgery scars that line my stomach, when he asked, "are mine big ones too Momma?" looking at his chest. I said, "these" pointing to my breasts and he says, "Yes Mommy. You have big ones!" with his eyes wide as can be. Well I guess I officially NEED to lock the door now but Thanks Son as I wrap myself back into the towel! How sick does that sound?!! That moment made my morning. It is amazing how the smallest things are so big in the eyes of children! Smallest meaning my boobs ~ gotta love 'em ~ wait..the kids not the boobs! lol What is soooo funny to me is my boobs are not BIG at all....well at least not until the super padded push up bra goes on!!! TMI I know! Sorry Jessie if you are reading this!