FRIDAY HIGH FIVE

FIVE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS CAUSED BY MY CHILDREN

1. When Elijah was two he heard my hubby's friends calling each other the "N" word all the time. Now apparently somehow it is OK for my African-Americans to use this word about ten times in each sentence. I do NOT agree with this nor do I want to blog about my views on that right now b/c it will get me all riled up about how wrong it is no matter what your race. My husband and his friends used to say it all the time ~ NOT NOW! However, I will tell you what Elijah did when he was two. In the grocery store, an older black lady stops me in order to talk to Elijah and talk about how cute he was when all of the sudden he obviously had diarrhea of the mouth and said, "Wassup N***a!" The look on her face stabbed straight through my already upside down gut. I just stood their with my mouth dropped and explained how incredibly sorry I was and where he had heard it. I was so pissed off. Needless to say my husband knows that word is no longer used in our children's presence or in our home period. He also knows how strongly I feel about it and he will stop his friends if they even start to say it at our home or in front of me or the children. They have all been told and for the most part they respect my view and now it really isn't a problem. If they don't like it, then they don't have to come over! They can use it for every other word in a conversation with someone else. I wouldn't want my son to get hurt for saying that especially to the wrong person and I don't want my sons thinking it is OK at anytime!
2. When I found out from Isaiah's teacher at his church preschool that he had said, "What the hell?" Apparently his little friend said it first and when asked what they had said his friend said, "Nothing!" knowing what he had said was wrong and he did not want to get in trouble. However, Isaiah had never said this before and didn't realize what he said was bad so he was proud and answered with, "I said what the hell!" The teacher gasped and Isaiah said again with his head shifting back and forth, "well I did I said what the hell!" I guess he kept repeating it b/c he didn't know it was bad and thought she couldn't hear him or something but I was really embarrassed hearing about it! She understood and said it was actually funny b/c he had no clue his new phrase wasn't a desirable one especially in church so he acted all proud! She said he didn't look like he had ever said it before!
3. When Elijah kept telling my Mom he was tired b/c "Mommy and Daddy were up late fighting!" I was standing there totally clueless and thought he must have had a bad dream but he kept talking about it and saying he wasn't dreaming. He kept arguing with me and was so sure we had been fighting. I knew for a fact we had not been fighting so I was embarrassed and confused. My Mom probably thought I was just trying to shut him up but I was really trying to figure out what in the world he was talking about. I asked him what we were arguing about and his description sent me in a tailspin. I thought I was going to die! All the blood rushed to my cheeks as my Son repeated the things my husband was saying during sex apparently a little too loudly the night before!! I do not get embarrassed about sex conversations or jokes not even in front of my Mom b/c my family has some pretty sick puppies BUT there are some things that just should NOT come out of the mouth of a 5yr old. So now our code word for sex at my parent's house is "fight"! They'll say anymore "fighting" been going on at home!?!?!
4. Do you remember the song "I'm in love with a stripper!"? Now obviously as a mother I show discretion with my radio listening. HOWEVER, I found out the hard way that my husband is not as good at discretion when it comes to his radio UNTIL I flipped over my 4yr old singing each word of "I'm in love with a stripper!" on our way to take him to his church preschool and just PRAYING he would NOT sing it in class!!! Well.....some people are just luckier than others!!
5. Just last night Chaitra had come to the house with the girls after spraying her house for those dreaded ants that seem to come in and take over so I cooked dinner and we tried to catch up on some TV shows. While I was holding Addison, Isaiah asked if he could hold her. I said, "Go wash your hands, then you can hold her." He came back awfully fast so I said, "You didn't wash your hands. Let me smell them." I smelled his left hand that pleasingly smelled like soap HOWEVER upon smelling his right hand....ugh....I just gagged!! I said, "You have to wash BOTH hands." Then he smelled his right hand and said, "Oh BUT Mom this is the hand I use to scratch my butt." The sad fact is he was totally serious!! Needless to say he didn't hold the baby!!