NOT ME! MONDAY

Time again for Not me! Monday and I have been away from blogger for a couple of weeks so here I am world take me as I am or am NOT!!

So just a few moments ago I certainly did NOT almost pee my pants when I noticed MckMama had already posted her Not me! Monday post and I actually have a chance to be in the top ten!! Holy crap! Yes for those of you who didn't know this God made crap! MckNugget just likes to play with it or even search for it I guess! Sorry just had to add that! Right there with you MckMama ~ Zay most certainly did NOT pull down his pants once and just poop in his closet!! Seriously though I definitely did NOT ever think I would even have a chance for the top 50 so this is huge or NOT huge for those of you who don't really care!!

I did NOT go to the doctor and secretly wish I had the ability to hack up a big loogie and spit on him when he said, "Wow you definitely got something going on in your nose it is disgusting!" as he shoved instruments in my mouth, up my nose and in my ear. Definitely NOT b/c that would be disgusting! Isn't that the entire reason I went to the doctor b/c my nose was disgusting ~ I did NOT need him to tell me that ~ just fix it!

I did NOT cut Zay's hair tonight and cut my finger open b/c I am a pro, right! I then did NOT laugh hysterically as my son cried in despair thinking I had cut his ear off after my countless warnings to sit still and the sight of blood running down his ear and my hand. Nope b/c that would NOT be sympathetic to his 3yr old fears!

I have NOT been driving around in my still shoe polished car three weeks after my son's football championship game. Nope NOT me! I love to wash my car! NOT!

I was NOT deleting old text messages from my phone when I did NOT laugh out loud literally reading a text that said, "When Elijah plays for the Dallas Cowboys are you gonna shoe polish your car?" I did laugh at the response I currently thought of ~ "NO I will have hired help to shoe polish the car and my driver hired by my son can wash it off himself three weeks later!!" I will admit I still do NOT have a clue about football other than I love to watch him play and if HE wants to pursue it as a career in the NFL I will NOT turn down gifts like large homes and cars with drivers!!

I did NOT want to yell out "Are you kidding me??!" when the doctors decided Zay's surgery couldn't wait until Dec 9th because his throat is closing faster than originally thought but told me to watch him while sleeping over the next WEEK!! Sleep ~ what's that!! I'll never sleep now until the surgery is over tomorrow!! I will NOT! His throat is closing faster but hey let's still wait a week! Let's NOT and just say we did!!

I am definitely NOT in any way shape or form awake AND blogging at 1:19am to be in the top ten or even twenty when I have to be up at 5:30am to have my son to the hospital and I am NOT about to go check on him for the 50th time in the past 4 hours! NOT neurotic at all I tell you!!