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For Father's Day we went to the Father's Day Car Show and Family Picnic that we first visited last year. I'll post about that later! While waiting for almost an hour on bleachers in over 100 degree heat for the hydrolics bounce contest to begin these are
5 Funny things said at a hydrolics bounce contest
5. The contest was supposed to start at 3pm. Everyone went to sit down or stand along the fence at 2:30pm to get a good spot.
3 o'clock rolled around.....nothing.
3:05 rolled around......nothingSweat rolled down my back, the kids constant complaints of being hot pierced my ears and I was already sweating in places "ladies" just don't sweat so needless to say we were all a little antsie and ready to go!!
3:15 came and still......nothingLone old white man sitting behind me and over one seat says, "They need to start this already! It was supposed to start awhile ago! What time is it?"
Funny African American girl behind me says, "Oh honey it is only 3:15! You obviously haven't been to an event run by black folk around here because this won't start until at least 3:30 if not 4 o'clock!!"
This was HILARIOUS TO ME especially if you know my in-laws AT ALL!! Sure enough the contest started at 3:35pm!!
4. Girl in the front row hollers as a car pulls into the cage, "Dat my baby daddy! Ooooo yea lets show them how to bounce baby. Let's go Jessie!" I truly believed this to be the truth! This particular car put on quite a disappointing show and I felt bad for her. She then says, "Oh dat not my baby daddy! My babies ain't ridin' in dat car! I need a ride home!" Then several cars later she says, "Oh here comes my baby daddy! Let's go Jessie! This car has some hops now baby!" Noticing this is a totally different driver and owner, I lean forward and say, "How many baby daddy's do you have and are they all named Jessie?" NOW DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME SINCE IT COULD BE OFFENSIVE AND GET YOU KILLED! Ha I'm exaggerated but you could easily get pummeled!! I was the lone white non-ghettofied girl on the bleachers and this could have been dangerous but luckily she knew I was kidding since we had been joking around and she laughed hysterically.
3. Funny African-American girl behind me says, "Man we all gonna be black as midnight when get outta here! This sun is hot!" My thought, "Yes the sun is always hot!" I said, "Well no not entirely true! I will not be black as midnight but instead I will be tomato red!" She laughs and says, "Now that's true honey! This is the one time it sucks to be white, huh?!" SO SO SO TRUE!! Tomato red was an huge understatement. The next day I was so red I was almost purple. Just call me Barney!! Oh the joys of being caucasian!!
2. Lone old white man starts to talk about sunburn relief. He tells me I should soak in vinegar then I don't remember anything after "soak in vinegar". Supposedly it takes the sting out of the burn but I will just trust that method since I cannot stand the smell of vinegar especially if it oozed from my pores!!
Anyhow he goes on and on about sunburn relief then tells funny African-American girl behind me to try it sometime to which she responds with, "Honey, black folk don't burn they just get blacker!" His reply, "Really?"
Funny front row girl from #5 gets in an argument with her real life baby daddy. After he walks off, she said, "I'll slap him Momma I swear I will!" I said trying to lighten the situation and be funny, "Well I am closer if you want me to accidentally swing my arm towards his face!" She says, "Yea that would be great! Wouldya?" I said, "Well would he hit me back!" She said, "Well only once since your husband is here!"
Yea alright I am going to go with no and I was just kidding!
Once is too much for me!!
I had to add another #1!
A gentleman and his wife about our age are standing in the shade watching people and cars drive up to the cages when the gentlemen says, "Wow did I look this stupid when I dressed up to go out to places? I thought I really looked good back then. These people look like idiots. You know they are sweatin' but at least they "think" they look good! These folks need mirrors! I am glad I don't dress to "impress" anymore because now I look much better!"
AMEN TO THAT!!
We all just laughed then made fun of various outfits until we had to go sit on the bleachers!!