OFFICIAL DIAGNOSIS IS ABNORMAL STUFF!!

Ya'll (southern term) are not going to believe this little adventure!!

I took Elijah to the orthopedist. I spent an hour and a half at a high priced orthopedist only to leave with another referral and a highly technical medical diagnosis of

.........DRUM ROLL PLEASE...................

"abnormal STUFF in both feet"!

Yep you read that correct "stuff"! I guess I need to look up stuff in the medical journal to understand! He has a medical degree and gives me "stuff"! Seriously?!?!?

Here the scoop:

Doctor comes in, asks a bunch of questions, pokes around on Elijah's feet, twists his feet in every direction, has him walk and jump then orders X-rays of both feet for a comparison.

Doctor comes back in and says this, "I don't see a fracture but the X-rays are abnormal!" THEN gets up to leave and while walking to the door says, "Do you have any questions?"

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

My response was "UMMM YEAH I HAVE QUESTIONS! WHAT IS ABNORMAL?"

He then feeds me a bunch of bull with, "Well if I took X-rays of your feet, his feet and your other son's feet they would all be different somewhat. The bones would be there but children's feet are still forming. Cartilage calcifies then turns to bone and he has extra stuff but that stuff could be normal in pediatric orthopedics. I don't do pediatric orthopedics. I do adults and sports medicine."

My thought......

WHY WASN'T I REFERRED TO A PEDIATRIC ORTHOPEDIST TO BEGIN WITH OR AT LEAST SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THEIR HEAD FROM THEIR BUTT??? SERIOUSLY,YOU WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL AND YOU GIVE ME A DIAGNOSIS OF "STUFF".

I politely say, "Why was I sent here if you don't do pediatrics?"

His reply, "Well this is where the insurance sent you!"

I ask, "So can he play football and resume normal activity?"

Unsure he says, "Well yeah. I say let him gauge his own pain. If he plays and is in a lot of pain, then take him out of the game. If he doesn't have pain, then just let him play. Let him be the judge of that. When does football start?"

I answer, "I believe Aug 3rd."

He says, "Wait I am going to say no until you can get in to the other doctor. Hopefully you'll get in within the next 2 weeks. Let's face it he isn't {insert name of some famous NFL player that I don't know and don't remember}! He is seven yrs old. You don't have to push him to play football!"

OH NO HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!!!

I responded with, "Let me tell you this Dr. Huang (pronounced Wong but I sure wanted to say Who-Ang ) ~ I don't PUSH my kids to play sports. He loves sports. He loves football and HE WANTS TO PLAY! He has watched his entire last season of football twice in the past 24hours simply because he is so excited to start again. I just need to know so I can give his coach a definite answer NOT so I can push him but I guess I have to go to someone else who can define "stuff" (and yes I did air quotes!) I would not let him play if he is definitely injured but "stuff" (and yes I did air quotes a second time!) doesn't tell me a whole lot! What is the 'stuff'? Is it bone, cartilage, tendons, cysts, tissue, tumors......?"

He ignorantly says, "It's just stuff. I am not sure. Like I said, I don't do pediatrics so it could be completely normal in peds so I am going to refer him to a peds ortho. Come in the office and I'll show you the stuff on the X-ray."

We proceed to his office where he pulls the x-rays up on the computer and points to various things. He says, "this is bone, this is the toes and this (circling the "stuff") is just stuff." The look on his face was totally bewilderment as he continued to say, "I don't know what it is but it is in both feet. It's just stuff...hmmm....I just don't know what this stuff is and it is abnormal but again it might be normal in peds."

I said, "That isn't even close to where he is having pain though!"

His response, "Welllllll.......where is the pain again?" I showed him and he then said, "Well I am unsure!" My thought was OBVIOUSLY!

I said, "So your official medical diagnosis is "abnormal stuff in both feet"?"

He chuckled and said, "Well I guess it is! I'll give you a copy of these X-rays on a CD to take with you."

My response, "You've got to be kidding me! This is so ridiculous it's not even funny. I need to get this "stuff" figured out before my kid's foot falls off!" and promptly walked out to the waiting area for the CD.

The doctor pokes his head out a few minutes later and says, "Oh you are still here, good!"

My prompt response was , "yeah just here waiting on the CD of his "stuff!" and YES I did air quotes a third and final time!

I FULLY UNDERSTAND DOCTORS DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING BUT "STUFF", SERIOUSLY!?!? That's an hour and a half of our lives wasted right there folks! Well I am on my way to look up "stuff" on the Internet and see if "stuff" is listed in any medical journal. To think that this man has MD at the end of his name totally boggles my mind but clearly explains how Megan McSnotty got her job being equally as clueless!! Basically, I know NOTHING more than I did going in except I will never let anyone I know go to Dr. Huang since he is the "wong" guy for the job! I wonder if there was a hidden camera in there and I will be on TV soon.....it was that unbelievable!!