MY DEAREST ISAIAH,

To my dearest Isaiah the son who keeps me on my toes,

Today to your dismay you turned four years old. You planned on going straight from three to five ever since you turned three. I have had quite the time explaining that this won't work and I thought maybe you understood me finally this morning. We'll see! I still think tomorrow you will be back to being five!

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. I will probably say this with each birthday letter I write you since I am told the birth of children is something I will never forget. I say that so much and it sounds cliche but it is very true. I went in for a scheduled c-section EARLY in the morning but other emergencies arose and we didn't get to see you until that afternoon. THE second I saw you I said, "Wow you look just like your Daddy!" We were all excited to see you. Elijah was a little upset since he wanted you to be green but he loved you regardless of your unmartian like looks.

I remember everything about you!

I remember.......

• the colic that began when you were two weeks old which the mere thought of makes my stomach turn and wonder how I made it through!
• praying I could find a pacifier that you would take for those hours of crying
• you NEVER EVER taking a pacifier (a nightmare for a mother of a baby with colic)
• you sleeping in your bouncer until you were four months old because it was the only place you would actually SLEEP!
• the joy when you finally slept through the night at just a little past four months
• you being such a happy baby after the colic was finally over
• the turmoil when you stopped breathing at the pediatrician's office and they had to do CPR
• RSV at nine months which TOTALLY RUINED YOU SLEEPING through the night for A VERY LONG TIME!
• you getting teeth at 4 months then biting the pediatrician when he didn't believe me and stuck his finger in your mouth
• telling people I didn't think you could hear then listening to them rationalize my fears
• your first word being uh-oh not mommy :(
• 10 ear infections in eleven months
• 3 surgeries in two years that you were a little trooper for
• your frustration when trying to fit in a cake pan even though I insisted you wouldn't fit.
• grabbing the camera to capture your face when you finally sat inside the cake pan then wondered why
• you hiding in the refrigerator
• the first time you REALLY heard things
• you pooping on your closet floor because you didn't want to poop in the big potty
• pneumonia when I was told you weren't sick but persisted until I got my answer THREE MONTHS later
• each and every birthday and each and every pivotal moment

I am so proud of you! I started tearing up the other day when we were outside and you heard the train choo choo from MILES AWAY! You thought I was sad and wanted to see the train. It is odd that those tiny moments still get to me! You were playing and said, "I hear a choo choo train Mommy!" All I could say to you was "Me too baby!" while I was screaming inside "THANK YOU GOD THAT HE CAN HEAR!" quietly amazed at how much you have changed through the years. I was so glad you could hear something so far away when just a little over two years prior I stood a foot behind you and you couldn't hear me scream your name. You handled your ear infections, medications, then finally ENT appts, surgeries and hearing tests like a champ! YOU probably won't remember any of that drama but I WILL!

I joke about you being Daddy's twin b/c you two are alike in every way possible. So much so that sometimes it freaks me out! I say you are ornery and bullheaded and you are BUT you are also the one to run in from playing outside JUST to give me a "tiss" (kiss). You are the one to say "I wuv you Mommy don't let the bugs in the bed!" (his version of don't let the bed bugs bite) You are the one who thinks I am your "best mommy ever"! You are the one who constantly has to be reassured that you are a good boy and a big helper! You are the one who always says, "Daddy I am glad you came home" when all he did was walk in the door from work. You are the one who says, "I wuv you buncha bunches!" You are the one who makes me smile and tear up at the same time thinking you are the last baby so I need to savor every moment!

I love you from your curly hair to your signature Zay crooked smile to those chubby little feet with Daddy's toes!

I LOVE YOU BABY BOY WITH ALL MY HEART!

I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK!

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ALL THE STARS IN THE SKY!

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE AND THEN SOME!

With all my love,

Mommy